Dudes In Progress

The Power of Encouragement

28 days ago
Transcript
Speaker A:

Is someone close to you feeling the weight of life? Maybe a life transition, career shifts? Unwanted surprises? Or somebody simply seeking deeper connections? Well, on today's episode, we'll explore how being an encouragement to others can not only uplift those around you, but also bring renewed purpose and joy to your own life. From simple daily gestures to intentional acts of kindness, let's talk about and discover practical ways to lift someone up and make a positive impact. I'm Joe and my very positive, encouraging friend over there. His name is Kurt, and we are dudes in progress. Hey, Kurt.

Speaker B:

Hey, Joe.

Speaker A:

How are you, man?

Speaker B:

I'm doing great. How are you?

Speaker A:

Better than some. Not as good as others. Somewhere between here and there. But all in all, life is pretty daggone good. What's new in your world?

Speaker B:

I'm getting ready for a big vacation.

Speaker A:

You are? Coming up in a couple weeks. Going to your happy place. Going to the happy place of millions of people. But heading down to Disney, huh?

Speaker B:

Be looking for me next Saturday. I'll be on a flight to Orlando.

Speaker A:

Nice. Nice. We were talking about this earlier. You're going again in September, right?

Speaker B:

Yes, I am.

Speaker A:

And I will be in Daytona Beach, Florida in September or the Daytona Beach, Florida area in September. But we're going to miss each other by a week. Daytona beach is only about an hour from Disney World. And it would have been cool to hook up with you down there in Florida, but that's okay. We still get to talk to each other a lot. Pretty cool, huh?

Speaker B:

Yeah, that would have been great.

Speaker A:

We'll. We'll figure that out.

Speaker B:

We met in Magic Kingdom one time.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

The only time we ever met in person.

Speaker A:

It's. It is the only time. Isn't that funny? That's. That's funny. Yeah. Gotta love technology, right? Gotta love technology. Has anybody ever called you an encouraging person?

Speaker B:

Oh, yeah. I've got a situation going on right now where one of my kids is calling me. Very thankful for some encouragement I've been giving him. And. Yeah, so I've been that way for people.

Speaker A:

Yeah, I think generally you are. I think you're a very encouraging person. I think that you have a way of empathizing with people and recognizing when they're going through issues, kind of helping them along. I know that you and I have talked about a bunch of stuff and you've been a personal encouragement to me. I try to be an encouraging person. Sometimes I feel like I'm more encouraging to those that are not closest to me than those that are closest to me. And yeah, I think that there's, there might be a, somewhat of a dynamic there, but I think generally being an encouraging person helps not only the person you're trying to encourage, but it helps you as well. It helps you with your own sense of, well, being, your own sense of value. If you can make an impact on somebody's life in a, in a, if a positive impact on somebody's life, it builds you up as well. So I just thought we'd talk about encouragement, some dynamics behind encouragement, what encouragement means to us, and why encouragement is so important. Is that fair enough?

Speaker B:

Yeah, I like it. Now, I was thinking as you're talking, I think I discovered about myself long time ago when I was evaluating career moves. But one of the things that I came to understand about myself is I like helping others. Teaching or. Yeah, just helping people solve problems in my work. And I think if you ask anybody, especially like in the HR space, if you wanted a culture, and you'll find that people enjoy to find value in what they do, maybe sometimes even more than a prize they win or a financial gain, you gotta have those things. But people need to find value in what they do. And for me, you're using the word encouragement right now, I think. And I do this on a regular basis. Part of my job. I've been doing that for many years where I'm helping people solve problems. I'm teaching people how to use technology to solve problems themselves. And I dig that. I know that's gotta be part of my enjoyment of the work that I do.

Speaker A:

It's interesting that we're, that we're talking about this today. I had this planned for a couple days, but just yesterday at work I was talking with another manager and we were talking about developing people and mentoring people and managing people and how to create a vibrant, productive work environment. And we were talking about when people come to work, they need to feel like they're doing something, they're doing something worthwhile doing and they feel it, and they need to feel like they're winning. If they're sitting at a desk all day long, they need to feel like, okay, I'm winning somehow, and whatever that might mean. But if they, if, if every day they just get beat down over what they, what they're not accomplishing, they start to dread coming to work and they start to dread the whole culture, the whole environment, and they're less productive. So we have to make sure that in the work environment that we treat people in such a way that they feel encouraged, they feel respected, and they feel like they're Accomplishing something and they're making a difference.

Speaker B:

As you're saying, your description, I'm thinking of that movie Office Space.

Speaker A:

Yes.

Speaker B:

Doing the TPS reports.

Speaker A:

Right.

Speaker B:

Manager hanging over, wondering when the TPS reports are going to be done. He has no idea why he does the TPS reports. He doesn't know where he's contributing to the organization whatsoever and could care less.

Speaker A:

Yeah. And we need to feel like we're having an impact. We need to feel like that what the work that we're doing is important and that's just in the workspace, that's just in the career space in our day to day lives. The people around us need encouragement and we're in a place in life in the age that we are and the position that we are, that we can be a real encouragement to others if we do it intentionally, if we look for opportunities to be an encouragement to others. And we, we understand how important encouragement was to us and still is to us in our life. But especially as we're maybe younger in our career or in a different place in life, how important it was to have an encouraging word from somebody that we thought was maybe a little wiser, a little more experienced, that, hey, everything's going to be okay.

Speaker B:

Yeah. I learned this lesson again with my, I mean, as Joe would say reading my mail out loud. 1. Couple of my kids recently have had problems on the job, career issues and I don't know the answers. Joe, I can share my experience and things that I've went through and suggest things to try, but sometimes you feel frustrated because you don't really have the answer. But through all those conversations of the recent history with a couple of my kids, I think and they even said this out loud and they didn't necessarily take my exact advice. And I'm thinking of my recent son's issue at work. He went a different direction. He followed his heart, he followed the situation. He knows it closer than I do. And it ended up in a good place. Very excited about that. But it wasn't what I said. It was more about being a listener and helping them talk it through was I think something I learned. And this is an area where I think you are really good at. I don't necessarily get it. Sometimes I feel like I don't get any to these, these emotional conversations or support very well. But this one, I walked away going, yeah, I was good. I did good on that one.

Speaker A:

Yeah, I can definitely see that in you, dude. I can definitely see that in you.

Speaker B:

Thanks. I think the career thing does hits Me, personally, hard. I think this is the thing that I struggled with during my career. Whenever the job wasn't going right, that was. That was a very high value in my life that I would have enjoyment in what I do, find value, do something I felt productive doing, make a good living at it. Those were big aspirations of mine throughout my life. And so it was a subject I guess I could relate to very well in things that I struggled with and have overcome.

Speaker A:

And it, it kind of starts with empathy. Most things start with a certain level of empathy, especially trying to encourage somebody and part of the conversation. And I've said this a lot, and if I've not said it on this show, I definitely say it a lot at work because I'm all about. I'm all about leading people and bringing people along. Human beings and realizing that, man, we're. We're all in this. We're. We're in this world together, whatever this world is. And it happens to be a work environment for me. But we're having a human experience here, guys. Let's remember that. That we're human beings. We're bringing along baggage and emotions and thoughts and fatigue and energy, and we're having a human experience here. And the more that we can realize that we're having a human experience, the more we can understand how to lead people and more we can understand what, what makes somebody tick. Not just some out of the box managerial leadership process or managerial process that we plug people into and think that, okay, we've. We've put our process together so everybody has to follow it black and white and stay in their lanes, right? And stay. I mean, stay right in the process, not stay in their lanes, because I'm a big one for staying in your lane, but stay in this rigid process. In, in some environments, I guess that's okay. If you're, if you're on an assembly line, you have to stay in the process, right? If you're, if you're. If your job is to put that bolt on that stem or that. That nut on that bolt, then you got to do that process. You got to stay in that process. But we're not talking about situations like this. We're talking about human interactions and bringing people along. And I think it's important to have empathy and understand that we're having a human experience in every moment. We're dealing with a human that brings along their own kind of stuff. But I think the best place when it comes to encouraging others, and this may seem like a. Of course, Joe, but again, this Might be me reading my mail out loud a little bit. But start with those closest to you. Start with your inner circle. Sometimes we overlook people right next to us, man. Our wives or husbands, kids, friends, co workers, they're so familiar and we're so, we're so close and we're so intimate that we, we overlook that those people need encouragement from us probably more than anybody, especially our kids and our spouses and those close friends at any age. But even our co workers and some auxiliary relationships that we have. Just a quick text, Kurt, saying, I'm proud of you. You've got this. It makes my day and I know it makes the day of other people. Even though it may sound quirky or weird and you may even think it might sound insincere because you don't do it very often. Right. But those little things make a difference. Even something as simple as showing up and being present somewhere says you matter.

Speaker B:

Somewhere. I was reading fairly recently encouraging kids. When you say I'm proud of you instead of I love you, I'm proud of you is one of the best things you can say to your kids.

Speaker A:

I think so too.

Speaker B:

I agreed with that statement when I read it. Getting back to your empathy, I'm thinking of even if, okay, I'm not a professional in this area, but in seeing and experiences of life, people that are having emotional mental illness issues, serious ones I've seen where group therapy has been the most productive in their recovery or dealing with things. And empathy, I'm thinking, is the reason why, Joe, because if someone is in. Has lived the situation that you're struggling with and they're encouraging and they're showing empathy, you know it's coming, they know what they're talking about, that you can relate to that so much more. Something about a group of people that have been through the struggle, I think that's the most powerful way. That was just one thing I was thinking of when you were talking about. And of course, yeah, I understand what you're saying. Start with people close with you or even at work. If you think you want to improve something and you want to show that you have value, start with your day to day activities, the normal, regular things you don't have to be a volunteer in saving the homeless or feeding the hungry to be this. Or encouraging people struggling really horribly in this to feel like you have value.

Speaker A:

That's a good point. Encouragement doesn't need this big stage, does it?

Speaker B:

Right.

Speaker A:

It starts right where you are in the smallest of circumstances. Right.

Speaker B:

It doesn't have to be A big dramatic.

Speaker A:

That said, that said, it doesn't need a big stage. It doesn't need to be this big dramatic moment. It starts in small intimate relationships somehow a group setting like you said, or, or one on one. But that ripple effect, man, and we know about this, that ripple effect can be much bigger than we think. It can set somebody's life on a whole new trajectory. Just the little word of encouragement that you give them.

Speaker B:

So let's make sure in the other, other direction. I, I was just telling. Relaying a story that I, I really loved watching the History Channel and I love that program. I don't know if you've seen these where how something built America, you know, how food built America. There's some fun. Those are fun historical stories. Of course. The one I'm going to tell you about is Walt Disney. When he was getting off the train. He had a failed venture in drawing and animation and he was going to take his cartoons to Los Angeles. And the guy, he was just having a casual conversation with a guy who said, well pal, if you want to make it in la, drop the cartoons.

Speaker A:

Wow.

Speaker B:

Because that was not thought very highly of at that time. In the early 1920s, whenever it was. And that stuck with Walt Disney his entire life. That off the cuff conversation. Well, I'll show you pal.

Speaker A:

Yeah, that's anti encouragement.

Speaker B:

It works the other way. I can relate to that. I can remember a manager back in my early days saying you can't learn that about database technology.

Speaker A:

What kind of relationship did you have with that manager? Was he somebody that you respected and honored or was he just somebody that you had to report to?

Speaker B:

I absolutely. I had a personal relationship that I felt was really encouraging most of the time. Except for that comment.

Speaker A:

That's interesting.

Speaker B:

Right? That's where it burns probably even harder because he was very supportive in a lot of the activities on the job. Matter of fact, he was very encouraging and started me down the road of getting analytical with the job, downloading data and he was showing me how to do that. And so thing when I started to progress further from Excel into database programs, that's when he dropped that bomb on me. Like, oh really?

Speaker A:

Just wonder if he had something invested in not encouraging, encouraging you in that particular time. You know what I mean?

Speaker B:

Maybe he didn't know how to do it.

Speaker A:

Yeah, yeah. That's interesting.

Speaker B:

I can tell you I've proved him wrong.

Speaker A:

Yeah, I'd say, you know, it's important that we start with those closest to us and we, and we expand out. I think the Best way, the best place we can start is to listen. I mean, really listen. And this is something that I really work on, that I work on, that I must work on, because I'm not sure I'm. I'm great at it. We don't need the perfect words to encourage somebody, Kurt. Sometimes the most powerful thing that we can do is just be there, listening fully, listening fully. We've heard about this practice of active listening, meaning you put away your phone, you make eye contact, you listen to understand and not to respond. Right. You're not trying to develop an opinion or any advice or anything like that. You don't interrupt, but you truly actively listen to that person. And that gives somebody oxygen. That's a form of oxygen. That's a. That's a form of. Of nourishment. When somebody has really listened to and they feel like they've really been heard, it tells somebody, I see you, I hear you. I'm right here with you. Because I'm not sure we can. We know what to encourage somebody on unless we understand now clearly if we have a deep enough relationship and it's. And it's very clear what somebody is going through, we can offer a quick word of encouragement, more of a generic word of encouragement. But if we want to go deep with somebody, we really have to listen.

Speaker B:

Yeah, I was going to add to that act of listening to clarifying questions or restating what you thought you heard. I know you do that, so I know you know that. But those are. I. 100%. I remember doing courses on this years ago, and I found that very much a learning experience. All of those practical tips in learning how to active listen. And you're right. When someone knows that you are paying attention and deeply taking in what they're trying to say, and sometimes you don't quite understand what they're trying to say. You gotta get clarity on it.

Speaker A:

You know, Kurt, that feeding back, we could do a whole episode on active listening. That feeding back and I, we just might do that, make a note of that, to make a. To make that one of our future episodes. But feeding back to somebody, what they've just said, and rephrasing it in a way that shows that you understand it, that it's not judgmental, but it's just. It's. It shows that you heard. It's almost this powerful technique, this magic relationship dust that you're sprinkling in the moment. Because I've seen people just open up when I've just repeat it back almost word for word, what they just said, and they. They open up even deeper and you repeat, repeat back, word for word, what they almost word for word. It's better to rephrase it, as long as you're not interpreting, necessarily interpreting what they're saying into your own kind of context. But it's so powerful, man. It's so powerful that people will. Will really open up to you if you. If you practice this technique. And sometimes you can tell people because it can feel awkward sometimes because you feel like all you're doing is repeating back to you. Sometimes it can feel like you're mimicking them. And if that. If it gets to that point. I have had conversations with people. That's where I've said, hey, listen, I'm just trying to make sure I understand what you're saying. So if I. If I feed back to you what I think you're saying, or it's just. It's just because I'm trying to listen. And that's powerful. That brings back. That brings into it its whole dynamic, a whole new dynamic. Right?

Speaker B:

Absolutely. I've always. I think the other thing I learned from this, and you said it, we tend to stop listening and start formulating our opinion or our response way too soon. And I noticed this being a podcaster doing interviews. I'll be listening back to the podcast going, I don't even think I heard that part because I was thinking of the next question.

Speaker A:

And it's hard, man. It's hard to be in the moment.

Speaker B:

Yeah.

Speaker A:

Because there's two dynamics going on here. Number one, you want to. You want to feel like you're engaging in the conversation. Right. So you're a part of the conversation. And number two, there's a little part of us that wants to be heard. We want our opinion known. We want to. We want our thoughts known. And so we're. If somebody's telling us something, oh, man, I can't wait to respond this way. I can't wait to, man, as soon as they. I can't wait to respond. So active listening is really hard. But like everything we do, progress is better than perfection. Right. We can start small, but active listening can, by itself, just by itself, without the magic. Encouraging words can be a source of encouragement just by itself that somebody knows that they've been heard.

Speaker B:

Yeah. And that's really nice to know, especially if you feel someone like me who doesn't feel like I have the great magic encouragement words that are going to make the change. I have this anxiety about myself. All right. Someone's in dire need, and they need the answer?

Speaker A:

Yeah. Do I. This. The single word. Their whole life hinges on me using the right words right now.

Speaker B:

I feel that pressure.

Speaker A:

But the good news is we don't necessarily need the right words as long as we're just listening. We just hear them out. Right. There does come a time, I think there does come a time where you've heard them out and you can intuitively feel this moment. You've heard them out, you've actively listened. They've, they've opened up to you. There's a certain level of intimacy there. And you can say something like, hey, I have some ideas. Do you want to know them? I have, I have some thoughts about this. Do you mind if I. Do you mind if we talk about it? But you can't jump right into that.

Speaker B:

Right.

Speaker A:

That's not encouraging at all.

Speaker B:

Well, the fact of the matter is in many of these situations, nobody knows the answer. Who knows what they. Right. I think I've, and I've learned this so many times where we've talked. I love this saying, you might have three crappy choices. Just take the less of the crappy three choices and try that.

Speaker A:

Yeah. And it very well may be, and very well may be likely that the answer is already in that person.

Speaker B:

Yeah.

Speaker A:

And they just need some room to bring it out.

Speaker B:

Absolutely.

Speaker A:

They just need some room to bring it out. And that's part of that active listening process in a, in a way that it's, it's encouraging people to just bring the, bring the answer out themselves. So let's start with active listening. When you have somebody that needs some encouragement and you're quite, don't quite know what they need encouragement for, take some time to listen to them, really listen to them. Because that by itself is a form of encouragement. But also when it comes to encouragement, sometimes I feel like I'm really encouraging for the big things. Like my daughter graduate gets her, gets her degree from her college degree. Somebody wins the big game or some big, big event or some big happening is going on, some big successful event for somebody. Those are easy. I'm proud of you. I'm really, you know, I'm really glad that you accomplished this or whatever it might be. Let's remember to celebrate the small wins, man. And that takes some work. Because in order to celebrate the small wins, you got to notice them. Not everything is headline worthy. Right. Sometimes these little small quiet victories are the, are the moments that need the most encouragement. Maybe a, a friend finally went to the gym and they told you about it. Or a co worker gave A good presentation or, my gosh, somebody just managed to get out of a bed. Get out of bed on a rough day. My wife came in this morning and she had something happen this morning that she was, she was really happy about. And in the big picture of things, somebody might say, it's not that big of a deal, but to her it was important. And we happened to be on our call. This is, we're told we're recording this on a Saturday morning. And earlier this morning, we met with our. With Clay and talked, talked through life like we do normally do on, on Saturday mornings. And my wife interrupted. Interrupted me to tell me something that was very important to her, and I stopped and gave her a fist bump and said, good job. And I'm not sure I would have always done that had I not been ready to record this podcast.

Speaker B:

On the opposite side, I did the complete opposite. I went downstairs to get a coffee, and my wife asked me a question because she was on the phone with our friends that we're going to Disney World with. And I said, not now. I got to go upstairs and talk to Joe.

Speaker A:

Sorry about that.

Speaker B:

So now I gotta recover after we're done here.

Speaker A:

But yeah, it's, it's. It's important to celebrate those small things with people. And I will tell you something about this generation. When I talk about this generation, is anybody younger than me? But I would say my, my, my oldest daughter is approaching 40. My middle daughter is over 30, and my youngest, youngest daughter is in her mid-20s. And my oldest daughter and my middle daughter, they have a way of just wanting to celebrate everything. And in the beginning, I started to make fun of stuff like this, but I, I embrace it now. Let me, let me think of an example. Oh, here's one. Here's one. When did gender reveal parties start coming about? I don't remember. Gender reveal parties. When, when we were having kids. Right.

Speaker B:

Seeing them now.

Speaker A:

Yeah. But they're all over the place. And when they first started having a gender reveal party, what is that all about? Who cares? Just wait till the baby's born and, you know, you buy a blue outfit and a pink outfit just to. Depending on, just, just to cover both bases. Right. But now people find out early what they're. What the baby's going to be, and they have the big gender reveal party, which is pretty cool, as I stick. Take a step back. And they are really good at celebrating everything. And I'm cool with that, even though I think it might be silly or a waste of time. Let them celebrate, man. Let Them celebrate. And I think this generation, younger generations, do a better job of celebrating the smaller things than maybe our generation does.

Speaker B:

I like that. A good example, because I was surprised how excited people get about knowing about someone having a baby, even. But people. Yeah, they hear about a baby, people come out of the woodwork to celebrate that.

Speaker A:

Absolutely, Absolutely. So celebrate small wins. Call them out. You know, our praise and encouragement is what matters most to people. Even. Even. And more importantly, on these small occasions with these small wins, let's celebrate them, let's notice them, and let's celebrate them, because that. That can build on the bigger wins.

Speaker B:

All right. Because there's so much frustration in life, we got to change the balance.

Speaker A:

Absolutely. I would say be as specific as possible as you can as well. General compliments are cool, and if that's what you have. And that's what you have. But specifics really hit home. Instead of saying, great job, which is good, if that's what you got, that's what you got. But let's try getting a little more specific. How about saying, man, you. You handled that meeting with such calmness and clarity. I really admire that about you. Or I can't believe how hard you worked over the past year to really push through and get your classes done. And. And I remember when you were struggling that one night between work and school, and you really pushed, and you really pushed hard through. I'm. I'm so proud of you. I'm not sure I would have been able to do that. Specifics can be very, very powerful.

Speaker B:

I love this. This is a pet peeve of mine. Joe, maybe you don't even know this about me, but an example would be you see something on Facebook where someone's congratulations. That's all they say. I feel horrible just saying congratulations. I want something with impact or something different. Or we had someone network retire recently, and it was really cool. They had an electronic card to sign, but, you know, when you sign a card, you put in a little sentence or two. Well, I use chat. GPT. I got. I guess, hey, we know that's not cheating. We know that's not cheating.

Speaker A:

No, not at all.

Speaker B:

But then I personalized it and used specific examples, and I. I was able. I was. After I did mine, I was, like, very proud of it. It was very unique and complimentary and specific. And I started reading back through the others, and I was like, yeah, they blew it.

Speaker A:

Yeah, mine is so much better.

Speaker B:

Mine's so much better.

Speaker A:

That's hilarious. If great job is all you have in the moment, have at it, man. But if you can, if you can say something specific, how they've impacted your life or what they've accomplished, use that because that, that adds a level of encouragement that builds somebody up and reinforces the really good things that they're doing in their life. And when good things are reinforced, good things, more good things are done.

Speaker B:

So I encourage all of you in Facebook and any card you get to sign, be more specific. I don't want to read congratulations.

Speaker A:

Yes.

Speaker B:

I'm happy for you.

Speaker A:

So if we're sending Kurt a card, we have to use at least 5.3 words. And if we can't think of those 5.3 words, go to chat GPT and ask them to write it for us.

Speaker B:

That's right, you can.

Speaker A:

But be specific, right? Be specific. It's, that's important. Here's a twist, Kurt. Encouragement isn't a one way street. One way that you can be an encouragement to others is to allow yourself to, to be encouraged by others. When you know how it feels to get and to receive real encouragement, you know that the impact it can have on other people. It can be hard to let others encourage us. It can be awkward, it can be a little embarrassing. Especially if, if we're in older, in our lives or in midlife or wherever, wherever stage we are, we offer, we often want to see ourselves as a strong, the fixtures, the dependable ones. And to get encouragement, some from somebody might, might feel a bit of a weakness, like a bit of a weakness. But the truth is we need it, man. Allow somebody to pour into your life. It's an act of, it's an act of trust. It creates intimacy and closeness. It gives others the chance to support us in the same way that we support them. So when somebody offers you a compliment or a piece of encouragement, just let it soak in for a minute. Offer a sincere thank you, a remark of gratitude. Receive it, don't deflect it, don't, don't say something like, ah, you know, it's not that big of a deal or, or I, I, I'm got lucky on this one. No, just let it happen, man. Receive it. Let it fill you up, man. You don't have to be the one to carry everything alone. You just don't. If you want to be an encouragement to others, allow yourself to be encouraged.

Speaker B:

I love this encouragement, Joe, because this one is difficult for me and I've had to be intentional to receive that. Like you said, be sincere and thanking and I am very sincere. I truly love that encouragement. You know, you talk about the podcasting world. It's a lonely world, talking into a microphone by yourself. I don't do that. But even. But I'm producing. You know, a lot of the hours spent are producing early mornings doing things. You're like, is anybody listening? But when I've had listeners give me some really sincere compliments, and some of them have been. Have shocked me. They had talked about being in a hospital room, listening to my podcast and sharing it with the nurses and just saying, boy, I was in a dark place. And your podcasts made a huge impact during that time I was in the hospital. Like, that was a hard compliment to receive.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

I had no idea that the content that I was sharing had that kind of impact on somebody, and it was difficult. But I think I had heard this. As you're saying, and the way you're describing it, it helps you to be a better encourager. I like that take on it. It's not me being selfish, but it's. It's there. I'm. I'm doing this to return that compliment and be sincere about it and. And just. And, yeah. Accept it a little bit. Yeah.

Speaker A:

And here's. Here's the little secret, and I think you can. You can relate to this. Here's a little secret about getting what you want out of people. If somebody is doing something that you want more of, encourage them, compliment them on it, because it puts gas in their tank. Don't be insincere. Don't use it as a manipulation technique. I'm not talking about that. But if somebody is. Is doing something that you want them to do, if they're accomplishing something that you want them accomplish, or they're moving in a direction that you want them to move, or they're providing something in your life that you want them to provide, encourage that, compliment that, support that. Let them know that it's. It's a great thing that they're. That they're doing.

Speaker B:

They noticed it. Yeah.

Speaker A:

That you noticed it, Kurt. You would. In that. In that little scenario that puts gas in your tank.

Speaker B:

Oh, yeah, it does. If.

Speaker A:

If the next day you. You didn't want to record a podcast, now you do.

Speaker B:

Yeah. I already told you, there's something. There's a value that I have of helping people. Now I'm talking about fun stuff like Disney World. Why would I think that's helping anybody? But to know that I am accomplishing that in what I'm doing. Oh, wow. That's a game changer.

Speaker A:

It is. It is. So as we wrap up encouragement, Kurt. It's not about grand gestures. It's in the daily moments, the small moments, the thoughtful texts, the quiet presence, listening to somebody, genuinely listening to somebody. A heartfelt compliment. But here's the beautiful thing. When you make encouragement a way of life, you create stronger relationships, deeper community, and more joy and happiness for yourself. For yourself. So let's start with those closest to us. Let's be intentional. Don't forget to let others pour back into us. Let's receive those compliments. Let's receive that encouragement because it's a gift. Encouragement is a gift that we can give to people, that we can let other people give to us. So when we all just give a little of encouragement, we gain a lot.

Speaker B:

Wow, I needed this one, Joe. This was a great, great timing, great episode. I love getting encouragement and giving encouragement. I didn't realize how much I enjoy it and gotta do more of it.

Speaker A:

Absolutely. Well, I'm encouraged by this podcast. I'm encouraged by our friendship. And you are certainly a source of encouragement to me, Kurt. So let's move on to our stuff. How about that?

Speaker B:

Right back at you, pal.

Speaker A:

How about your win for the week?

Speaker B:

My win for the week is around a little side project you and I have with our friend Clay. And we've been discussing and working and recording a new or a revival of his podcast, Ask the Chimney Sweep. And I was excited to finally tackle some video editing. I've been talking about it since last year. I'd done some research. I bought a course. Never really have implemented it in my own podcast, but even when I bought my new computer, I bought Final Cut Pro as part of the package and had some interest. Boy, that was a technical challenge that has intimidated me, which may sound weird to a lot of people because I do audio editing, but I don't know, it's. It's one of these things that just seemed. I think graphics in that whole area is usually a challenge for me, but I was so excited. We had a couple different ideas. We did some re editing of things and changed things around. And you know, I used a YouTube video. There's lots of video tutorials out there with my limited time, but I pretty quickly now I don't feel like I've mastered it, but at least I feel like I've taken some of that edge off in learning this program and I'll probably even the next. And I'm thinking about the way I've learned other things. You always get it the first go around. It doesn't like, sink in. And there's a lot of shortcuts to that program. That program's pretty tough in my estimation so far. We'll see as I get through, because I think a lot of it is muscle memory because it's not really intuitive where things are. And there was a lot of frustration in doing the short bit of work that I did, But I got through it, and we're going to produce it and be done. So my win for the week was the video editing I did on Ask the Chimney Sweep.

Speaker A:

And I've seen this video, Kurt, and it's good. You've done. You've done a really good job, especially starting cold with a program that you're not familiar with and producing with what I think is a pretty daggone good product.

Speaker B:

Yeah. To look at it, you wouldn't think much of it, but I knew with the requirements we talked about that I'd have to figure out some stuff. I mean, a simple thing like, they gave me the image that we wanted a still image of, and when they gave me the image, it was transparent. There was no white background to it. Well, how am I gonna do that with my video program? You know, it really helped me. It was a combination of the tutorial I was doing that showed me how to build my structure in a way that probably most people wouldn't know. And I liked the way he was doing that. But then he didn't explain how to do that piece that I was just talking about. How do you get a white background on a transparent image that's gonna be a still image? And chatgpt boy, it was answering my questions pretty good, Joe. That's a big help.

Speaker A:

It's powerful.

Speaker B:

I was very impressed with that, because who wants to dig through a bunch of blog posts or other videos to try to get to the piece that you want the answer for? That's really. So that saved me a lot of time in my learning.

Speaker A:

Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome, man. I know that the finished product looks good. I've seen it. And that is certainly.

Speaker B:

Then you build on it. Right.

Speaker A:

Worthy of. Yeah, it. Progress is better than perfection, man. But this. It's pretty. It's pretty good, dude. It's pretty good. I like it. I like it. It's worthy of the win for the week. My win for the week. You wouldn't. You won't be surprised. Involves Kings Island. We're in the Kings island season, and that's. That's our local regional amusement park here. And quite honestly, it's been ranked as a couple times throughout the past decades. As the number one amusement park in the nation. Kurt and I can certainly have a debate about that, I'm sure, But. And we have had a debate about that. About. About 45 minutes ago, we had a debate about that.

Speaker B:

But.

Speaker A:

But my wife and I went to Kings island for Memorial Day, and we went. Not only did we go to Kings island for Memorial Day, it was one of the rare times that it was just the two of us for an extended period of time. And we rode some rides. We rode some rides that we. We typically don't ride. But also we. We saw a movie that day, and it was just a different kind of Memorial Day. A lot of times with Memorial Day, we'll get together with a whole group of friends at somebody's house and we'll cook out, and there's. That's always a blast. But there was a law kind of in everybody's plans.

Speaker B:

My. The. The.

Speaker A:

The small group that I get together with. And so we didn't really have anything planned as a group. And so my wife and I went to Kings Island. We ate breakfast, and we went and saw the movie, a really good movie that I'll talk about here in a second. And what a nice day. It was just a nice, relaxing Memorial Day. Not a lot of pressure, not rushing to get. Get somewhere. We stayed at Kings island as long as we wanted to stay at Kings Island. We knew a couple movie times that were options for us and was just a nice, relaxing Memorial Day. Being at Kings island and being with my wife was a cherry on top of the sundae.

Speaker B:

I totally relate to this with all of my trips to Disney World, like you mentioned, I either have traveled with family, kids, my. Our friends that we travel with. Of course. I got all my podcasts, community that I'll be interacting with. There was a time I said to my wife, I don't. We were there. Her friends went on a cruise, and we were left alone for a whole day. And I looked at her at one point. I don't think we've ever done this. I don't think we've ever been alone enjoying the park together. And I look back on that, saying, that was really fun because all these different activities, they're all different depending on who you're spending time with, for sure. Like, if you go to your grandkids, right, it's a different day, but, yeah, completely different. Exactly. So I just really appreciate. I don't know if we're gonna get that on this trip, but I totally relate to your Memorial Day at Kings Island. That's a good one.

Speaker A:

It was fun. It was a lot of fun. And we did. We did stuff that, that we ate where we wanted to eat. We didn't think about, okay, what do the kids want to eat? Or. I know, okay, is can. Does this person want to ride that or does that person want to ride that? Now, my wife and I have completely different appreciations of rides. Right. I like every ride, every time, everywhere. I like going in circles. I like going up and down. I like big hills. I like fast. I like roller coasters. I like spinning. I like it all. My wife is a little different, but all the stuff we did was all the stuff I loved, and all the stuff we did was all the stuff she loved. And it was just a good, good time. So there we go. How about your resource for the week?

Speaker B:

This is one I think you'll enjoy, Joe, because you played a part of this. We were meeting with our friend Clay, and we were just wondering what we could do with AI in terms of writing a song. And at the time, we knew we could get lyrics from Chat GPT. And you have the paid version. And you're really good at doing a prompt. So you. You had Chat GPT dig into Clay's website. I think if I remember right, I'm not sure what you.

Speaker A:

That's just. It just did a complete research on. On Clay Lamb and then I.

Speaker B:

Deep research?

Speaker A:

Yeah, a deep research. And I. I had it whittled down to make sure it didn't grab another clay lamb. So I gave it some context for the clay lamb I'm talking about from Cincinnati, Ohio, asked the chimney sweep and a couple other arrows to point it in the right direction. But it did a good job.

Speaker B:

It did. The lyrics were really great. There was a piece in there, something about how he keeps the warmth of the home while you sleep. Yeah, I was trying to remember. There was some really pretty good lyrics, but I wondered. I had my record store man manager friend mentioned to me that one of his friends came in one time and had a. A song that he made up because they're obviously into music and they're into heavy metal. I think he came in with a song that he used AI to sing and play music to the lyrics. And I went, you know, I. I shouldn't be surprised that we're at this point, but I had no idea how good it could be. So we did a quick research. One of the programs we tried was called suno. Com, that's s u n o.com, this is the one we use with clays. And we put that in there. I got a free account. There's limits to these things. But I was able to create a complete song, matter of fact, change up a couple of genres. One was like a country rock version, and the other was more of a honky tonk. I think he kind of liked the honky tonk, and it gives you two versions of each of those genres. You can pick them and change them around and give it a bunch of instructions. I was amazed at the quality of the music, the song, the tune, the voice of the singer, and no idea that that is an AI generated voice from those lyrics.

Speaker A:

It blew me away, man. I couldn't believe it. But I can see where people who are like jingle writers and musicians, songwriters, I can see where there's a little, there's a little trepidation, there's a little concern about, okay, where does this put me? If I'm a professional jingle writer or a copywriter, I, I, I'd rethink my process a little bit and either either accept, engage, and embrace AI as part of my process or, or I'm probably going to be made obsolete.

Speaker B:

This question is burning my brain since we did that, and I don't have the answer because I'm not a musician. I, I don't know. I'm sure I got to believe musicians are going to bring more creativity or better melodies or changes somehow to that. But my gosh, to my untrained ear, sure sounded pretty good.

Speaker A:

And that's the musicians. That's the artist's hope. And that's my hope, quite honestly, is that we'll always be able to recognize that's not quite. There's something amiss. There's something amiss. But I can tell you this much. If I would have heard that song 10 years ago, before I knew even AI existed, I would have thought, that's a darn good song.

Speaker B:

Yeah. Mike worry, too, is around the copywriting. So they produce this piece of music. Does it violate someone else's copyright for a song? I don't know. I couldn't tell you for that one that we had. I did one for my podcast too, but I don't know if it does. I don't. I just know that it came from a machine. I don't know where it got it from or how it did it.

Speaker A:

Yeah, I don't know. You know, that's, that's for, that's for us to work out as a culture, as a society, as, as, yeah, as a people who owns that stuff, because everybody Steals from everybody. We've talked about this. Everybody steals from everybody. And there is no real. I mean, the Bible says this. I don't know how many thousands of years ago. There's nothing new under the sun.

Speaker B:

Yeah, we know the stories of someone who put a piece of music out there. They didn't know they were. Yeah, there's some that were intentional and. Right. They were properly sued for, for that.

Speaker A:

But, but I think we're walking down a path, Kurt, that my guess is who whatever created by AI as long as, as long as we can show that it was created by AI and there was enough human element to create it, we're going to own it and it is going to impact a lot of industries.

Speaker B:

So, yeah, for my resources, it was just kind of fun.

Speaker A:

It was a blast, man. It was a blast. Did you tell us what it was?

Speaker B:

Sunu.coms u n o.com yeah suno.com it's.

Speaker A:

It's pretty cool.

Speaker B:

There's others. That's the one I tried.

Speaker A:

It's pretty cool. Let's talk about my resource, which is just eye and ear and brain candy to the extreme. But I love these movies and it's been over 30 years since the first one, since the reboot of this, of this movie was put out by Tom Cruise. And that's the Mission Impossible movies, Kurt, my friend, I love them. Whatever formula they, formula they use sucks me right in. And from the first one I watched to this last one, I've loved this last Mission Impossible movie. It's called Final Reckoning and it's supposedly the last Mission Impossible in this series in the Tom Cruise era as, as Mission Impossible as Ethan Hunt and wow, is it good. It's actually a, it's a two parter. The first one was called Dead Reckoning. I feel a Dead Reckoning. And this, the second one is called Final Reckoning. It's three hours long and it is a good movie. It's everything that you would expect from a, from a Mission Impossible Tom Cruise action adventure movie. It does not disappoint. And I've liked all these movies, but wow, this one was really good. So if you're into this thing, Mission Impossible, Final Reckoning. If you've not seen the first one, you got to see the first one. It's called Dead Reckoning. It's on Netflix, I think it's on Paramount. Plus it's, it's all over streaming. Dead Reckoning. Go watch that first. It's worth the investment and it won't leave you wanting because Then you'll be able to go straight to the theater and watch Final Reckoning. We've had to wait a few years because I saw the. I saw Dead Reckoning a couple years ago and had to wait for this one. Mission Impossible. Final Reckoning. Excellent movie.

Speaker B:

I love that recommendation. I always need recommendations. You watch more TV than me. Snap that in there. But yeah, action. I love action.

Speaker A:

Very encouraging of you, Kurt.

Speaker B:

Thank you for this is. This is very encouraging. You know, I don't know that I'm. I love Tom Cruise as an actor and I got. I really appreciate his work, his work ethic and to put out something, especially when you got a franchise like this to continue. I really appreciate or that's hard to do. To continue to put out a quality thing. We talked about Sylvester Stallone in the Rocky movies. I always had great appreciation because that first Rocky movie is like one of my favorite of all times. But we all, all have enjoyed all of them, really. Like how could he do the same topic but still put a twist on it and you enjoy it. There's an actor, he's an English actor that's in the Mission Impossible who I absolutely love. I don't know his name, but he's one of the co stars in the Mission Impossibles. You might not even know he's English.

Speaker A:

Yes, I think he has an English accent. Simon Pegg.

Speaker B:

Yeah, that's probably. That sounds like. Yeah, yeah, I love him.

Speaker A:

Yeah, yeah, he's a great character. Yeah, yeah, he's.

Speaker B:

He's good, I think comedy, his comedy movies. He's got a buddy that he does the English comedy movies.

Speaker A:

Like it feels like he was in the Hobbit movies or. I don't know.

Speaker B:

He did a zombie one.

Speaker A:

Okay.

Speaker B:

That I. This hysterical. He did a like Super Cops or something like that too with him.

Speaker A:

Didn't he play the Hobbit?

Speaker B:

I don't know.

Speaker A:

Was that. I don't know either. But yes, he's a good actor. I like him, I like him.

Speaker B:

Different directions, but yeah, thanks for the tip.

Speaker A:

Mission Impossible, Final Reckoning. Go see it.

Speaker B:

Love it.

Speaker A:

How about your quote?

Speaker B:

Real simple, be an encourager. The world has enough critics already. That is Dave Willis. I don't know who you are, Dave, But I agree 100%.

Speaker A:

Isn't that so daggone true, man?

Speaker B:

Yeah, everybody's a critic.

Speaker A:

I can be, I can be a terrible critic and a cynic when it comes to some stuff. We have enough of those, man. Let's be an encourager. You know, it's kind of easy to be a critic. Right. It's kind of easy to be a. Be cynical and be a critic. Let's. Let's figure out a way to encourage other people. Love this. Whoever you are, other than. Other than Mr. And Mrs. Willis's son, Dave Willis, thank you for that quote. That's a good one.

Speaker B:

I have a deep appreciation. This, this comes from my high school days when I played basketball and worked my tail off and we had a great team. Speak. You were talking about this earlier too, Joe. I wanted to mention I didn't get a chance, but everybody knew their role on our team. That's why we had talent on our team. But the reason we were great, because everybody knew their role and we grew up together and I was fully engaged in this activity, to say the least. And we were in a spotlight in my small town where everybody was a critic. And you know, when someone will say something they know nothing about the inside workings of what's going on. Boy, that got that. Used that. That tore me down a lot. And so, you know people who just throw out insults that have no idea what they're talking about.

Speaker A:

That's right.

Speaker B:

Drives me still to this day, drives me insane. So I love this quote for that reason.

Speaker A:

That's right. That's right. So, yeah. Thank you, Willis, Dave Willis, whoever you are. Mine comes from Ralph Williams. Waldo Emerson. Now, we've all heard that name a hundred times, right? Thousands of times.

Speaker B:

Because all he does is do quotes.

Speaker A:

And the. The thing is, the only time I ever hear is a thunderstealer. Kurt. The only time. The only time I ever hear that name is when people are quoting him. You know, who is this guy? Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Speaker B:

Read his book. Maybe we should read his book.

Speaker A:

I don't even know if he's an author. What I've. So I looked him up. I thought I. I thought I knew who Ralph Waldo Emerson is. It's a guy that you've heard the name so much that you think, ah, that's Ralph Waldo Emerson, right? He lived a long time. I mean, he's. He's not a contemporary. He's from the 1800s. They describe in these highfalutin words, right? He's an essayist, a lecturer, a philosopher, a poet. He led something called the Transcendentalist movement. And we've heard about Transcendental meditation and so forth. And so he's definitely have an impact on. On culture, in society. But I. I'll be honest with you. I've quoted him a couple times. I never knew who knew who the guy was. I never knew what he. What he accomplished or what he was, what he was known for. I just, you know, he was a guy that had some really good quotes. So we need to look into who this Ralph Waldo Emerson is a little bit. Maybe. Maybe talk a little bit about it more on a show, because he has said a lot of cool stuff. And one of those things that he has said is our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be. That's a good one. That's encouraging because we have this thing in us, right, Kurt? We have this thing in us that we know we can do something, but something's holding us back, or we'd like to do something, but something's holding us back. And we just need somebody to believe in us, to inspire us, to encourage us. That's really an important need in the human experience, isn't it?

Speaker B:

Yeah, for sure. We got this fear of whatever it is if someone else thinks that we can do it. Yeah, that puts fire in your belly for sure.

Speaker A:

No doubt, no doubt. Let's wrap it up right there, my friend. Our website is dudesinprogress.com dudesinprogress.com. if you want to reach out directly to us, you can email us dudesudesinprogress.com dudesinprogress.com Remember, if we're trying to be an encouragement, we don't have to be perfect about it. Sometimes if we. If we wait for the right moment, the right moment has passed. If we wait for the right things to say, the. The. The. The experience is gone. Just. Just be an encouragement, however you can do it. Because when you encourage people, you help yourself and you help them progress through life, it doesn't have to be perfect, because progress is better than perfection. We just got to keep moving forward.

Speaker B:

And I'm so grateful, Joe, that I have an encourager like you in my life. I hope you all can find someone like Joe to encourage you to be the best that you can be.

Speaker A:

Oh, shucks, Kurt. Thanks, man. Sincerely, thank you. That means a lot to me. Talk to you soon.

Feeling stuck, burnt out, or just disconnected? You're not alone—and neither are the people around you. In this episode, Joe and Curt discuss the power of encouragement and how small acts of kindness can spark big changes. Whether it's a quick text, active listening, or just being present, the Dudes explore how encouraging others lifts everyone up, including yourself. Get ready for a heartfelt, practical chat with real-life examples, Disney detours, and a few mic-worthy quotes.

Key Takeaways

  • Start with Empathy: Before you encourage someone, take the time to truly listen—active listening can be more uplifting than the perfect words.
  • Celebrate Small Wins: Not everything needs a parade, but a fist bump for showing up can go a long way.
  • Encourage with Specifics: “Great job” is fine, but saying why something was great hits harder and lasts longer.
  • Allow Yourself to Be Encouraged: Receiving praise with grace isn't weak—it's an act of connection and humility.

Curt’s Stuff for the Week

  • Win: Tackled the intimidating world of video editing using Final Cut Pro for a new project, Ask the Chimney Sweep. Took a frustrating learning curve and turned it into a shiny finished product.
  • Resource: Suno.com – AI-generated music creation that blew Curt’s mind. Full songs, full voices, and genre options. Scary good.
  • Quote: “Be an encourager. The world has enough critics already.” — Dave Willis

Joe’s Stuff for the Week

  • Win: Spent a rare, relaxing day at Kings Island alone with his wife—just the two of them, some thrill rides, a good movie, and zero kid-related negotiation.
  • Resource: Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning – Action-packed and everything you'd expect from a Tom Cruise finale. Catch part one (Dead Reckoning) first.
  • Quote: “Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Encouragement doesn’t need a stage—it needs intention. Start small. Start now. A kind word, a listening ear, or a moment of honest praise can change the course of someone’s day—or their life. Be the person who sees, hears, and lifts others. Progress isn't about perfect words or timing—it’s about showing up and keeping each other moving forward.

Website: dudesinprogress.com
Email: [email protected]

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