Making Friends

In the 1930s, at Oxford, two professors found common ground in their love for myths. One night, they delved deep into a discussion about the truth in myths. The first, a firm believer in the profound truths of these tales, inspired his friend, an atheist, to see them in a new light. This exchange led to a remarkable transformation in the skeptic.

He began to view Christianity as a.

True myth, rich in universal truths. This new perspective deeply influenced his writing, infusing it with allegory and depth. Their friendship and intellectual discussions were pivotal in shaping both of their literary careers. And these two friends were. I'm Joe. My pal over there is Kurt, and we are dudes in progress.

Hey, Joe.

Hey, Kurt. What's going on, man?

I'm just getting ready for a trip to Disney World.

Do you know who those two friends were?

It wasn't you and.

Huh.

You had me there for a minute. I'm going to guess C. S. Lewis and Tolkien.

Exactly, exactly.

J. R. Tolkien, of course, the author.

Of Lord of the Rings, and C. S. Lewis, the author of many books, but probably best known for the chronicles of.

Ah, I win the prize.

Yeah.

When you were telling that story, the.

Words that were popping in my head.

Were collaboration and teamwork.

Yeah.

And I think those are extraordinarily powerful things that I've always been fond of.

Whether it was in my sporting pursuits.

Or collaborating at work.

Collaboration software is really where my specialty.

Ended up, going towards using software to collaborate. But, yeah, I think they're very powerful communication.

Yeah.

Love that.

They were very good friends, but they didn't share complete 100% agreement. They weren't completely in agreement on even religion, even Christianity and worldview, but they. They shared a. They shared a common interest, and they.

Built this deep, deep friendship.

It's a very cool story if you get a chance to check it out. That little couple of paragraphs that I read doesn't really do it justice, but.

It'S a neat story.

It's a neat friendship.

Well, I think friendship, part of being.

A friend, is respecting the other person.

And what they value and to listen and not get into arguments that are.

Going to break up the friendship.

Yeah. That brings me to a question. We'll flesh this out during the show.

But what is your initial response when I ask what makes a good friend?

My first thing is probably trust was the one thing that was going through my mind.

Complete trust in someone else.

I think it starts with shared interests. You seem to bond with other people.

That have similar interests now that they.

Were professors, so they had the same vocation, intellectuals and that kind of thing.

I think if I look back on.

All the friendships I've had, they've always started with common interest, but I think trust and reliability, respect for each other are some of the things that definitely.

When you've said this at 03:00 a.m.

If someone calls, are you the type.

Of person that's going to run out and help somebody, or if they have a really bad day or something traumatic happens? You're the one where they're there for you in those times of trouble and.

Times of fun, too.

Having fun together.

Definitely. Yeah.

Who are your 03:00 a.m.? Friends?

Right.

Yeah, but you're right, Kurt. I mean, most of the friendships that.

I've built have been the catalyst was.

Some kind of common interest.

Sure.

I think about us.

Our friendship was built on the common interest of podcasting.

We had no idea that we were.

Going to become this good of friends.

Right.

We just knew that we had this.

Common interest and knew enough about each other to know that, okay, we'll at least share this common interest and see.

What happens from there.

Right.

For sure.

Yeah.

But I think that's how they start.

They start off as a common interest.

And today we're going to talk about that.

We're going to talk about how to be a good friend. It starts off with, you got to.

Have a friend, right?

You got to be a friend to have a friend.

Yeah. Well, you got to have a friend in order to be a good friend. And, yes, you're right. You've got to be a friend to be a good friend.

And we'll talk a little bit about that.

My idea about what makes a good.

Friend is you're comfortable with each other in the good times and the bad. You know that they're going to pour as much into the relationship as you.

Are, and sometimes when you're not pouring into it, they still are. And when they're not pouring into it, you still are.

You build each other up, and you.

Can count on each other. Like I said, that 03:00 a.m.. Friend. That's what makes a good friend.

That's the 03:00 a.m.. Test.

Who will you take a call from.

At 03:00 a.m. And who do you think you could call at 03:00 a.m. That's a very interesting way to think about friendships.

Yeah, I like that analogy.

You've dated.

Also, I was thinking, have you ever.

Been betrayed by a friend? I was talking about trust. I can think back in high school, someone who betrayed me. And I was kind of shocked it was over a girl.

Mine was, too.

That's very interesting, Kurt.

Mine was, too.

I had a friend betray me when.

We were in high school, and this.

Was a friend that I grew up with. I'm not going to go into the.

Details, but a girl was definitely involved.

And it was a pretty dramatic thing.

For me, I'll be honest with you.

I just didn't expect it.

Yeah, I would say I don't usually do drama, but that particular moment, I did.

You asked me this question before, and I think I asked it of you.

But let's revisit that again. Do you think you make friends easily?

That's a great question. I'm an introvert, I think by heart, so I wouldn't say I make friends easily.

I'm not really good introducing myself in a crowd kind of thing.

But I think once the relationship is established, then I can be a pretty good friend.

I'm not great at introducing myself in a crowd unless I feel some kind of common thread.

Like I know somebody who knows somebody and I can say, hey, you know.

Bob, you know Kurt.

Yeah, I think Kurt does that.

Do you know Kurt?

I think Nick does that. Do you know Nick?

I don't know Nick.

But then you kind of feel either.

You do know Nick or you don't know Nick.

And it's important to make friends, especially as adult guys. We're both in our mid 50s, but I think once you get to your mid twenty s, I think it becomes harder and harder to make new friends. New friends that become deep relationships.

Right?

Yeah.

I didn't have any social life while.

My kids were in school and I was raising them. I can't say. I mean, you're beyond your high school and college friends.

You're in that in between.

I mean, some of the people that you hang out with at times, I didn't have a lot of social life at all because I was running around with them. I mean, maybe the parents of some.

Of the kids, but I never felt.

Like I really had a lot of close friends. Maybe the best I could do would probably be my coworkers.

Yeah.

But now I agree. I think we've talked about how important.

Relationships are, and I should make a more attempt, really.

And, yeah, it's not always been a priority for me.

So it's interesting we talk about this common thread, these common interests, and if.

I had to go make friends right.

Now, if something happened and I was friendless. And I know that for my mental health and for my well being, I.

Needed to go out and make some.

Friends and make some connections. I'm trying to think of how I would do that.

Yeah.

How would I go make friends right now? I'd have to identify some interests that.

I have, some clear interest. Sports or tech or music or podcasting or whatever it might be.

Right? Yeah.

A club or a church or somewhere where people meet.

That's really.

And, boy, the people that do. My dad is so good. I'm always amazed.

He worked in the construction industry when.

He was working and in the local area. The town where I live is where his company was, and we'll be out somewhere. He runs into people he knows all the time.

And I think back of all the work I've been doing, kind of the.

Home repair kind of work, and I think my dad.

How in the world did you do.

The things that you did working on.

Cars and the house he built, the.

House where we lived. I'm just amazed because I got YouTube.

Right.

But you got to think he had relationships and friends that he called and asked questions of or they would come over to help.

That's an interesting thought, because part of what I think hinders us making good.

Friends and developing deep relationships as adults.

Is that rugged individualism.

Right.

Your dad sounded like a rugged individualist, but he also was not afraid to ask who not how.

And we're going to explore that sometime.

Maybe not, but you may hear that phrase from Kurt or me commonly, who not how, right? And that has to do know, building a business and getting things done and stuff like that. But he was not afraid to ask.

Who not how, right?

Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, he had a lot of connections.

They know a guy.

Yeah.

And that's the way it was done back then. It's the way it's done now. I mean, actually, I know a guy.

But we have so many different outlets for building relationships.

I mean, you have a lot of relationships across the country and really across.

The world as a result of your podcast.

Geeking on wdW.com, if you want to check it out. Geeking on wdW.com. Because of your podcast and that community. And I know some of those people.

And those are as good a friends as one could ask for some of them.

Right.

I had no idea when I started.

A podcast on Disney World that I.

Would meet so many incredible people. I mean, looking back on it now, it kind of makes sense that these.

People have a childlike fascination and curiosity and positivity.

They just blow my mind all the time.

And it's really awkward to meet people.

From the Internet in person. It can be.

Yet these people have that skill really intrigues me that they would reach out to me, know, have the trust and just being forward to say hi and start the conversation.

But it's been one of the most amazing mysteries from my podcasting efforts that has turned out exceptionally well.

Well, I'm not a Disney fan.

Right.

I don't mind Disney, but I'm not a Disney fan to the extent, not even close to the extent that you are or any of your community is, I would say I'm probably not a Disney fan. But I do know this. Disney people are special people. I've had an opportunity to interact with a handful on a close level, and they're special people. They're kind and generous and fun loving and interested.

Right.

You're right about that kind of childlike.

Mentality, which is what we need. We need that curiosity to build friendships.

Yeah. And there's another common thing, is there's an enemy that we all share. There's a nemesis out there.

Yeah.

People like me.

Exactly.

You read my mind.

That's so funny.

People who make fun of people who love Disney and that, like, why would you go to that place all the time? Isn't that for kids? Isn't it too expensive? Isn't all the negative things that they can think of? I went there and I didn't have a good time. Or how could you get that from people? You'll get criticized from your coworkers.

Absolutely.

And so that's another thing that bonds people together.

Well, Disney people may not be a.

Fan of me, but I'm a fan of them, just not Disney itself.

What we're showing here is there were.

Some common interests, I think, of the relationships that I've had, the people from church, people I've met through podcasting when.

I was into bicycling and road biking, the people at the bike shop I.

Still have some kind of connection with. We have these common interests, and we.

Build on those common interests. But then, like I said, we have.

To be intentional about it. We have to start building a connection at some level.

Show interest in them, show interest in their opinions and their experiences, and ask how they're doing, and just kind of.

Build that connection within that safe space.

Of the shared interest still.

Right.

But you're still building a connection. You can share stories and experiences, have.

Kind of a give and take, but.

You really have to intentionally build a connection. You identified kind of people you're interested.

In, but you got to start building a connection somehow.

I'll tell you, one of the other.

Experience that I always look back on.

Really fondly was my going down to a technical conference, and this is where my Disney world started from. And I was really intimidated by some of the conference goers and the people who spoke up on stage, but I was always the person that went in the front row. I'm very attentive. I enjoy the learning aspect of it. I marveled at the content and the character of the people that were speaking.

And I did that for a couple.

Of years, and I didn't know anybody.

Going to these conferences.

I went all by myself, 10,000 people.

And it was fine because, hey, like I said, I'm an introvert, but I'll.

Tell you, Joe, that first year that I said, you know what? And they were all bloggers and I.

Would interact with them on blogs. There was no Facebook or Instagram or.

Any of those things at this point yet, but there was blogging.

And I went to an event.

They had a little get together outside of a restaurant on the boardwalk at Disney World. And I just put myself out there. I said, hey, I said to my wife, if this doesn't work, I'll be back in like five minutes. Well, I ended up staying till about midnight. We ended up going over to the ESPN club.

And I'll tell you what, those relationships.

That were built at that conference because, same thing.

Well, we had the same interest and.

We had a very unique software that we worked in. So we had commonality of a lot.

Of things that we did and we.

Learned from each other. And we were also, I always say, the bastards of it, because no one understood our software except for the people that did. And so we shared that in common. And I just had this birthday last.

Week and still in Facebook, on my Facebook page, people from that goes back.

20 years ago, those people are still connected to this day and probably aren't still doing that software anymore.

It's phenomenal. And to add to that, the next.

Few years that I went, I saw.

People every single year and had just.

Huge fun and look forward to it. Matter of fact, I saw someone post the nostalgia of walking that path between the swan and the dolph, and people still remember those times that we spent together.

And yeah, it just totally changed my.

Experience of going to conferences, knowing people and just having laughs and fun all the time.

But you allowed yourself to do it, right.

I stepped out of my comfort zone and the reward was just tremendous, really.

It was really my interest in podcasting.

And started from that because there were some podcasts that were built out of that community, too.

I've made some really good friends in.

Podcasting, friends that to this day, like.

You said, they'll connect with me or I'll connect with them.

Happy birthday or merry Christmas or texts. Not just your typical Facebook post, which is cool, right?

I love to see those as much.

As anybody, but I'll get a text from these guys. Oh, there's Dave, man. I'm glad to hear from him.

Right.

And then you'll kind of build a.

Little mini connection again, and that might fade a little bit, but you have.

These lifelong connections that you've intentionally built because you shared an interest and you.

Showed an interest, you shared your own.

Stories, and you became just a little bit vulnerable.

And that's something us guys don't like.

To talk about a lot, but it's important, right? We become a little bit vulnerable, and.

Whether we say we do or not we do, it's about give and take, right?

Yeah.

Well, podcasting again, it's a medium where.

You put yourself out there and take criticism, and it's a grind sometimes.

It's a lonely hobby sometimes, too.

Sitting at home.

Sure.

It can be with a microphone and wondering if anyone's listening. So you relate to each other in that. And there's things that we do, whether it's equipment or just how you advertise or get people to know about you. Yeah. There's so much common interest to share there.

Now, where the rubber really meets the road is this next part. You got to deepen the relationship.

At some point, if you're going to.

Make a good friend, you got to deepen the relationship. You got to deepen this interaction that we have with each other that might be promising to show up every Saturday morning, right?

Yeah.

And that might be, let's say you're.

Three months into that Saturday morning or.

Six months into that Saturday morning, and you notice that your friend is a little off, is a. Joe's not. Joe just doesn't seem himself, or Kurt just doesn't seem himself, or Mike just.

Doesn'T seem himself, whatever it might be, right?

Yeah.

And then you ask how they're doing, right?

Is something going on, man?

You doing okay?

When you start going down that road.

Where you start to share struggles and you start to share the ugly part of life, that's when it really starts to get deep.

And I'm not talking about just pouring your heart out right away.

You know a guy for an hour.

And you're telling them about all your stuff. But it is a process, right? And you almost have to be intuitive about it. You have to be intentional about it.

But you almost have to be intuitive about it to understand, okay, this guy has made enough emotional deposits, enough deposits.

In my emotional bank account.

And I don't know where I heard.

That analogy before, but we all have.

Kind of an emotional bank account, right?

People are making deposits, and people are making withdrawals. We sure know the people that are making withdrawals, right?

Yeah.

Those are the people that are just sucking the energy right out of us. And we also know the people that.

Are making deposits that give an encouraging word or show up when they promise.

They'Re going to show up or offer.

Some kind of value to your life. So there comes a time that relationship deepens.

It could be just watching a football game together.

It could be just hanging out, doing.

A podcast together, right?

It could be biking together or attending whatever.

It might be grabbing a drink, going.

Out to lunch, something like that.

There comes a time that that relationship, as you're making a friend, goes just.

That one kind of nick of a level, and that's when you find out about that friendship.

You find out what they're made of, and you find out what you're made.

Of, and you find out if this.

Is somebody that can be trusted.

I mean, you don't really think about.

It at the time. You're making it very intentional and obvious.

But remember, I had a pal that we started by working together on a project at work and then started doing.

Walking at lunchtime together.

And those conversations, sometimes they were just hilarious or things that we saw funny.

I think he listened to Howard Stern. I remember him talking about Howard Stern. A. But, yeah, sometimes those conversations got pretty real and things that he was dealing.

With, or vice versa. Yeah, it became a really good relationship.

I mean, going out for a walk has always been therapeutic for me, but.

Then have a good friend to chat along and share some funny things, stuff.

You'Re doing, movies you're watching, whatever or work you're doing.

We traded work secrets or helped each.

Other out, working through projects and problems that we were working on, too.

But would you consider this person a friend right now?

Yeah, but one I've lost touch with.

Because he left the company that I.

Work with, which is unfortunate when you.

Lose that common interest, that foundational common interest that we talked about before, that we allow that to disturb the relationship. We allow that to not, I guess.

Eliminate is kind of a strong word.

But dampen the relationship. Yeah, I don't know why.

It's interesting. It's funny, I've heard you say this, too.

Sometimes people kind of just fade out.

Of our lives when they were kind of important at one point.

And maybe you have to trust that process, that they have faded out of.

Their lives for a reason.

But maybe you think back to yourself and you think, was I the type of friend that I needed to be? But sometimes that does happen. Sometimes people just fade out of their.

Out of your lives.

But when you look back fondly with.

I mean, I hear you talking about.

This guy that you walked with, it sounded like for a moment, you guys.

Were very good friends.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And really, it was probably the physical.

Change of him not being around anymore.

Right.

That made the difference.

So that's an important part of it, isn't it?

The consistency, the making sure that you.

Stay in touch, making sure that you show up in each other's lives at some level.

There was a time when he would reach out and we'd go, go to.

Lunch, even though he was at the.

Other company, too, but that started to fade away, too.

Sure, he has young kids, and we get busy with other things. It makes it more difficult to physically.

Get together, but it is a process.

Understanding that fade, I guess it is.

A process of making new friends and.

Developing those relationships and engaging this process again. And it sounds very technical, and I understand that very rarely do we sit.

Down and make a list of, this.

Is how I'm going to make a friend today. You know what I mean?

We don't do that.

But if we're conscious of the process.

And we're aware of the process and we know our part, we know we have a part to play in this, it can be more effective and we can develop deeper relationships, I think.

Yeah.

Like I said, my natural tendency is not to make friends, and it's not a good thing. It's somewhere advantageous for health and fun and so many of things, or.

Yeah, helping out with things or helping other people with.

Definitely why I was talking about this with my lessons from Lucy, how Barry's dog was always making friends all the time, no thought of it whatsoever.

That kind of what prompted me to want to talk about this.

Yeah.

What we've done so far is we've intentionally identified people that have similar interest.

I guess we'll call those potential friends.

Right.

People who have similar interests. And that's where we start.

Clubs and teams and groups, like minded people, a sporting event, some kind of.

Tech meetup like you talked about, podcasting.

Then we have to build a connection.

We have to show interest in that.

Person as a human being and share our own stories.

It's about a give and take. And then we start to deepen that.

Relationship by becoming just a little bit vulnerable, grabbing a drink, taking a walk together, hanging out, watching a game, whatever it might be.

But you got to stay in touch.

Right? We talked about that.

You got to stay in touch and be consistent.

You're basically turning an acquaintance into a.

Friend at this point. And then you kind of establish this mutual respect. You don't have to be clones of each other.

Right.

You have to respect their opinion and respect their time and their commitments. Don't get overbearing.

People have their own life and their.

Own pace, and you have to be sensitive to that.

Yeah. They got to stand up for your.

Friend no matter what, even if they're in the wrong. I can remember that from school.

I would go to blows with any.

Of my friends that I played ball with. Right. If they were going against somebody. Know, as you were talking, Joe, it's interesting. I think one thing I lack is.

Looking for opportunity to make, you know.

I was down in Lowe's today and across like three or four aisles.

This guy was standing there with a little puppy, a golden retriever, and this.

Dog was sitting perfectly.

And I had a pretty good idea.

He was probably there for training as a service dog was my first thought.

Because I could even from a distance.

Tell that he had one of those vests on. And this dog was sitting so perfectly. And you know how much I love animals and dogs especially, and I made a beeline to this guy. I just had to talk to him. I just had to say, my gosh.

What a beautiful dog and how well behaved he was.

I found out he's twelve weeks old.

And I was just, and had a nice chat and found out that it's.

A service company and he's fostering this dog.

He'll have to give him up.

But they're an organization that is close to my community, which I didn't know about, so I may be checking that.

Out, and that'd be a great place.

To make new friends.

Yeah.

But again, here's you recognizing that you.

Probably need to be a little more intentional about it.

Absolutely.

I got to be more forward.

And that's a good point. And when we talk about bringing the.

People into our lives, this friendship that.

You and I have was an intentional friendship.

All right.

We kind of showed up on a Saturday morning, felt each other out a.

Little bit, and said, okay, this is somebody that I intentionally want to bring and at some point keep in my life.

Right.

And we do that sometimes. We have our cousins as friends when we're younger or we have the people that just happen to be in the neighborhood.

Right.

And those are kind of friends by accident, for sure.

But we can be intentional about the friends.

And I think it's even more important.

To be intentional about the friends you.

Make and the people you bring into your life.

Are they going to build you up? Are they going to encourage you?

Are they the type of person that will accept your encouragement and you building them up? Do you have some kind of common focus and willingness to help and to.

Be intentional about that?

I think it's more important now than.

Ever, especially in our digital age, where.

We can tend to be isolated.

Yeah, for sure. Isolation is a horrible thing. It is not good for anybody.

So, yeah, let's stop right there.

We've talked about kind of identifying the need to make friends and potential friends.

And building a connection and kind of deepening that connection or being a little more vulnerable and intimate and make sure.

You'Ve established mutual respect for each other.

And honor who that individual is. And you do those things and you're off to a really good friendship.

But it doesn't stop there, right?

It doesn't stop there. You may have made a friend and.

Started the ball rolling.

Now you got to be a good friend for a long term relationship. You got to be a good friend.

And we're going to talk about that next week. Fair enough.

Yeah.

More you give. Think you're going to get more back, too?

Absolutely.

How about your win for the week, Kurt?

So a friend of mine, Joe Taylor.

Told me about a Kanban board that he bought.

I think he got it at Home Depot, if I remember right.

I did.

He told me it was a two.

By three, and I told him it was a two by four.

Right. But I went over distance and measurements and spatial, what do they call that? Spatial whatever is not my strong suit. Right. I was the guy in baseball, Kurt, that my depth perception is horrible.

Right?

I could never figure out whether it was dropping in front of me or going over my head. Okay, 50% of the time I was wrong, but go ahead. I'm sorry.

I was a very good center fielder.

So I was much better at that.

But, yeah, I went down to Lowe's.

You gave me the inspiration because I was looking around.

It's funny. And I was at staples looking at.

The prices, and then I was in.

Lowe's all the time, and I looked at oh, they had one and it was like $10.

But Home Depot was close to my house.

I didn't buy it down there and I ended up getting one. So I've got it installed behind me and I was thinking where could I put it because my office is just stuffed. I got shelves, I got things on the wall. I was trying to think what was going to have to leave for. I could put my kanban board up and it's two sided. It has a chalkboard on the other side.

Right.

And it's got the whiteboard on one side.

It's erasable marker board. But I use it to put my.

Post it notes and start my Kanban board. But I put it over my door. I got those sticky tape where it sticks to what? It's got little fingers on it. So it sticks together.

Oh yeah.

That's how I put mine up. Yeah, the double sided tape.

Like those commander.

Yeah, that's what they're called.

Yeah, those commander things.

So far mine's standing up.

Yeah.

You got one in your hand there. So far it's staying there. And I'm starting to put some tasks on my board. So thank you, Joe. I've got that set up yesterday.

Yeah, it's really cool. It's only $8 and I looked for one because I just was intended to use my wall and my post it.

Notes just weren't sticking.

And I think it had to do.

Know the texture of the wall and so forth.

And it's not designed for that. So I was at Home Depot and happened to find this four x two.

Well, I cut it to whiteboard and works.

I cut mine down to 30 inches tall.

Okay.

I didn't want to go all the.

Way down to the floor. 4ft. How many tasks am I put on there?

If you put it on the back.

Of your board, my door forces you.

To look at it every time you leave your office.

Right?

That's right.

That's pretty cool. I don't know if you did that on purpose, but that's a pretty good strategy.

Well, it was the only place I had. It was either that or move my poster. My isle of white poster that Kevin Curtis Allen gave me.

Yeah.

So you bought your kanban board. That's awesome.

It's all hung and working.

My win for the week is I reviewed.

I took the past week and reviewed and reset some big rocks at work. Now if you want to know what.

We'Re talking about, big rocks, go back.

And listen to our episode. I think it was the one right.

Before this about time management and can.

We really manage time?

And we talk about big rocks and.

Putting in the big rocks first.

And I realized a lot of small.

Rocks were in my activity at work.

And my team was dealing with a.

Lot of small rocks, some of that.

Even sand and pebbles and some of it even water. And you're like, this is just not.

The way it's supposed to be.

So I reviewed and reset some big.

Rocks at work, met with my team, and we simplified a few processes to provide focus. And everybody's pretty excited about it. In fact, one person brought up that they felt that they were kind of.

Floundering a little bit.

So when I was able to take.

A step back, and quite honestly, that episode forced me to do that, brought.

It to top of mind again that I need to think about the big.

Rocks and put the big rocks in.

First and everything else will kind of find its place. So that's my win for the week.

Awesome. Yeah, we were talking about this on.

Saturday, and I know you put a.

Program together too, that emphasized the importance.

Of those big priorities.

I did.

Good job.

Love it.

How about a resource?

My wife, over the years, is surprisingly.

Good at buying gifts.

And whether it's Christmas or this past.

Week was my birthday, she was over.

Do you have BJ's wholesale clubs in your area, Joe?

We do not.

We have Sam's and Costco.

Well, not that it matters, because I.

Did find this in Amazon link, which.

I put in our notes. And I don't know if I can explain this. The name, probably everybody knows this about this thing except for me.

But I know a friend of ours.

When we went on vacation on his phone, he would have one of those battery packs with an elastic band wrapped around it. Sometimes I would borrow it. And that's how you connected it to your phone to get extra battery juice. Well, this one's called a snap plus juice pack mini.

The brand name is Mophie, but it.

Uses that Magsafe magnet that connects and.

Attaches this battery pack to your phone.

And she also bought me a new.

Case that holds it, and there's a little magnet in there. So you take the snap juice pack.

And you stick it on there and you can charge your phone, and it sticks right on the back with a magnet.

No kidding.

It's pretty cool.

So you just take this little charger.

That you have, it holds it on.

The back of your phone and that magnetic process, and that's how wireless charging is done now, right?

That's right.

That magnetic process charges it right up. You don't have to plug it into the.

Correct.

That's awesome. Correct.

That's very cool.

Check the link in our notes if you're interested. She got a nice deal because the one in Amazon, at least this particular, there's probably other brands, but there was $40, and she got it on sale for 20.

Well done.

Again, really nifty little gift from my wife that's going to be coming handy.

On our trip down to Disney World, for sure. Because all that social media I'm doing.

When I'm taking pictures and videos, you have burns that battery.

It's funny.

My wife, I think, just bought a wired charger, and if it's still within.

The return period, I might check this out.

I'll tell you, the biggest mistake I make is to forget to charge it.

In the middle of the night, like.

Get back tired or just Disney. You get exhausted at night. You forget to do things. You fall asleep, head hits the pill. I'm sleeping, wake up, and the phone's battery is dead.

I carry a big battery pack in my backpack, in my laptop backpack, and.

There'S a cord that comes from my.

Backpack, from the inside of my backpack to the outside.

Okay.

That allows me to plug into it, and that has been a real game.

Changer for me because I have power.

And it's pretty stout. This has days and days of charge.

Okay. This one we were asking.

She goes, I'll just use yours. I'll say, why don't you get one of those? Go down to BJ's for $20, get one yourself. I said to her, she goes, I'll just use yours. I said, I don't know how many charges this thing's got in it. It pretty much doesn't tell you on the packaging.

My resource is a book.

It's a book that goes way back, and it's dated. And I'm surprised somebody hasn't.

It may have actually been updated. I'm surprised somebody hasn't.

It might even be in the common.

What do they call that when something is so old? It's part of the public. It's public domain.

Right?

It's public domain.

Answered my question. You worked it out, Joe.

By the way, I still don't know who Han Solo was.

Who?

The actor that played Han Solo.

Oh, I meant to text you. It popped in my head the other day. Harrison Ford.

Harrison Ford. There we go. I've intentionally not looked it up. I was just waiting for it to come.

I meant to text you that. Glad we got that fixed.

This book is maybe in the public domain.

And if you get this book, work.

Through some of the language. Right. Work through some of the. It's by no means vulgar or anything like that. I'm not talking about language in that way.

But it does have some, I don't.

Want to call it archaic, but language of the time. Right.

And when you read this book, understand that the time this person was living in.

But the principles are timeless.

The principles are universal. And it's by Dale Carnegie.

How to win friends and influence people.

Yeah.

It's one of those seminal books that almost everybody that I know of significant success at some point has read this book.

Yeah, I think I read that about 40 years ago. It would be a good book to.

I didn't realize, as you're describing a.

Book that the language is a little different. Whatever. However you described it, I thought maybe it was simple.

Well, it is simple language.

What I mean is it's language of the day.

Yeah.

Okay. And they probably make some references to some things. The language we may not completely use.

Okay.

It's not archaic, but it's definitely of the time.

Right.

One thing that profoundly sticks out to me. You remember, I always say there's always something from really books that I enjoy that something sticks with me.

The one about that book that sticks with me is the importance of when.

You'Re talking to someone to make them feel important or let them talk and ask questions about them. Instead of putting yourself, everything about yourself, make it about them. Make the conversation about them.

Stephen Covey, in his book seven habits.

Of highly effective people, which we've referenced.

Many times over the past couple episodes, puts it kind of like this. He says, seek first to understand, then to be understood.

And I think of people that really, I enjoy meeting.

They're really good at that. Just naturally, I don't think they're trying to do it. They ask you questions about yourself. They seem to be interested in you.

Yeah.

There are people that do it naturally because of their upbringing, I think. So it might be. But also you can be intentional about it.

Yeah, for sure.

You can decide, I'm going to be this type of person. I think it's a good skill in other people.

Yeah.

One thing that I remember from that.

Book is, and I leafed through it recently and I thought, man, this would be a good thing to dig into.

Again, very similar to what you said.

Is use their name.

Right.

Call people by their name and use their name. Remember their name.

Yeah. Unless you're the cable person at the help center.

Yeah. From Dave Berry's book. Yeah.

Then it becomes annoying, and then it becomes fake.

Then it becomes obnoxious. Before we started recording here, I had noticed in Kurt's notes on today's show that he did not share in advance.

What his quote of the day is going to be, and he said that he did that purposefully to make it a surprise.

So for the past 45 minutes, man.

I've been waiting for this moment.

I'm going to give you three rapid fire. And there's a reason, I guess I.

Thought it'd be fun to do it this way. I take my wife everywhere, but she.

Keeps finding her way back. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. So that's Henny Youngman and Rodney dangerfield.

Awesome.

I was going to go Henny Youngman. I think he's the one that said, take my wife, please take my wife.

So when you were going to talk about relationships, I thought I'd go a little on the comedy side with Henny and Rodney.

Well, mine's kind of funny, too. And I think about, am I the type of person.

Am I the type of person when.

We talk about kind of step one, for lack of a better term, and making friends, and that's identifying potential friends. Join clubs or groups. You're a good guy, right? This quote, I love this quote. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Who is that from?

Groucho marks.

That makes sense.

Now, there is some wisdom in that, right? There is some wisdom in that. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. If you go to join these clubs.

My gosh, make sure you're the type.

Of person that people want to be friends with. Right.

I don't know how.

I wonder why Mark said that. Maybe he's just trying to be funny. I guess.

That is funny.

That is funny. I love that.

I love that stuff by.

Rodney Dangerfield has some great stuff, dude. I mean, he has some funny, funny stuff.

And if you look back at his.

Story, his story is pretty rough.

He's like a lot of comedians.

His background is know.

Check it out. It's pretty interesting.

Kurt, I think we're going to wrap.

Up right there for today's show.

Sounds good. Good job, Joe.

Yeah, my friend. Next week? Yeah, definitely next week. We'll talk about being a good friend. We'll talk about some of the ideas behind being a good friend and the.

Philosophies and not to be technical about.

It, but there is a process and.

There are some boxes to check off.

If you're being a good friend, we'll.

Do that next week.

The book I'm reading right now is being your best self.

And I'll tell you when I'm being.

My best self, I'm being a good friend.

That'll preach right there as we go.

Our website is dudesinprogress.com. Dudesinprogress.com if you want to reach out to us, you can send us an email. [email protected] [email protected] if you see fit to.

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Take you to all those places, including the most recent episodes. So, Kurt, as we depart, I hope.

You have a blast in Disney. I know you will.

You'll be with some good friends, good friends that you've nurtured and cultured, and you've made good friends by being a good friend.

Let's continue to make progress in making good friends because progress is better than perfection. We don't have to be a perfect friend, but we do have to make progress in being a friend. Let's keep moving forward.

Yeah. Thanks, Joe. And I'm looking forward to seeing my friends. It's made my trips to Disney world incredibly fun, and I always have a great time seeing my friends, the old friends down at Disney World. Thanks, Joe.

Awesome.

Talk to you soon.