Thanksgiving: Crazy Family and Awkward Conversations

Thanksgiving, a time for turkey pie and the wild gauntlet of family dynamics. Whether you're dodging controversial conversations, dealing with that one uncle who overshares, or sitting next to your least favorite cousin, there's a way to not only survive, but thrive. And today, we'll dive into tips for keeping the peace, finding gratitude in the chaos, and laughing through it all. Because even when things get awkward, there's still plenty to be thankful for. I'm Joe, and I say this a lot, but my pal over there, I'm very thankful for. He's Kurt. And we are dudes in progress. Hello, Kurt.

Hey, Joe. Got a little tear in my eye.

You know, what do you do?

What do you do that to me for?

I don't know. I'm a giver.

And so humble.

Yeah, very humble. I say a lot. My humility is only overshadowed by my greatness, right? I'm not sure which is the best way to say it, but it's still funny. It's still funny. Either way. What's going on, my friend? Here we are on a Wednesday morning, the day before Thanksgiving. If you're listening to the show, you're probably listening to it sometime after 12 o'clock on. On Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, because that's when it's. That's when this is coming out. I thought it would be a good time to talk about Thanksgiving and the dynamics behind Thanksgiving, those family dynamics, those weird, awkward situations, that dread that some might feel when they have to go see those family members that they avoid all year, but they feel an obligation to do it. And quite honestly, Kurt, I think that obligation is a good thing. Some people might say, man, I'm just not doing. I'm. I'm not. I'm not going there and I'm not going to deal with Joe. Right? I'm. I'm not going there and I'm not going to deal with this person or that person or that Democrat or that Republican or that voter or whatever it might be, or that person who thinks this way or that person who just can't keep their mouth shut. But I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing to suck it up and go do that and be grateful for the situation if we can do it. How do you typically spend Thanksgiving?

I'm lucky, too, that I don't have that common conflict that many do for the holiday. I am very fortunate. We all get along quite well. I mean, there is a. There are some. There is a topic we won't discuss this Thanksgiving And I think that'll come up during our conversation today. Why? And I don't want to get into it even with, not even with my friends that listen to the show. But yeah. So my parents used to put on a great Thanksgiving. My mom dad are older now. My mom, boy, she could bake pies and how even my dad bakes pies. And it's something that he'll bring, he'll sometimes bring the turkey, but we go to my sister's house. I think he will make the turkey. And the reason I enjoy it a lot too is because I don't feel like I get enough time with my parents who are getting older. And then my, my sister and my brother in law, my nephew, they'll be there. My dad is so excited for this Thanksgiving, Joe. He called me up during the week because my grandson is six months old now and my mom and dad have not seen him yet until he'll see him tomorrow. That's the plan. My son Harry and his wife Kate are coming down. So Johnny B. Is coming and he's going to be the life of the party. He'll bring everybody together. There will be no fussing and fighting because Johnny B. Is going to be the light of the party.

So that's, that's a dynamic you have to get used to when grandkids come into the picture. Kurt, they're the star of the show. Yeah, they certainly are. Your kids can kind of forget them getting any attention from dad, from mom, from their grandparents. It's over. It's all about the grandkids now because Johnny B.

Can play a mean game of peekaboo and that could take up most of the day.

You know, it comes naturally to them. Johnny B. Has, has that talent. Naturally. The real skill comes into you. Do you play a mean game of peekaboo?

I can get him giggling and laughing, you know. You've been successful.

Awesome. That's awesome. We have a big Thanksgiving almost every year. I think we have 20 or so people coming over to the house and everybody kind of pitches in to cook. I think my son in law this year is making the turkey and he is interesting when he makes food, when he cooks food because he never does it in a standard way, he never does it in the regular way. He'll come up with some interesting recipe that he wants to try out on us for the very first time. Yeah, that's bold and it's always awesome. Are people coming to your home or are you going to your folks house.

Or we go to my sister's House.

Okay, so you're going to your sister's house. How big of a gathering will it be?

I think it might be close to 20. I think she invites her in laws too. I think maybe not. I could be wrong. So it might be more like 12, 13, 14 this week. Yeah. Between my kids, I think all my kids are going to be there and.

Everybody gets along okay. That's awesome. Yeah, really well, have you perfected that over the years? Have you decided that, hey, we're going to avoid these subjects or I'm going to spend less time with that person? Or are you one of the lucky, lucky people where the family dynamics are not just. Are just not an issue?

It really isn't. I tell you, I avoid conflict. That's part of my personality. I think that's. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. I think my dad's similar personality and even rest of my family too, but yeah, it's. I can't think of ever. I always hear people saying this and it's never been an issue with me. I love turkey. I was just seeing a lot of people. I saw a poll on television that only like 30% of people really like turkey. I love, I love the turkey dinner.

I do too. I do too. I like a traditional Thanksgiving meal.

My sister does some great dishes and a lot of them came from my mom. This corn that they do, it's kind of like. It's a custard corn with a crusting on top. That's one of our family favorites.

Well, we make a spoon bread that is like, kind of like a soft cornbread. Yeah, that is really good.

Ooh, of course, I love the gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots, candied carrots. I think she does. And my wife makes a broccoli. I love casseroles. Anyway, this is a great.

Yeah.

And she's even going to make a turkey. My wife's going to make one. I think today she's going to is or she going to put. Yeah, I think she's going to do it today. She says we got, you know, she says you get. When you come home after Thanksgiving for my sisters, we'll get here. We won't be over there too late. She goes, everyone's going to want a turkey sandwich when you get home. I don't know why you've been stuffing your face all day with turkey and pie, but that's seems to be true.

If you're not allowed to pick mashed potatoes, turkey or dressing, what would you Pick as your favorite Thanksgiving food.

Wow. What a difficult question because they all kind of go together on the plate, you know. Wow. I'm going to go with. Because it's kind of unique. It's this little corn casserole that my, my wife, my sister make, my mom made. I think I'll go with that because that's a little something that's been a family tradition and everyone knows I like it.

Somebody in my family, and I don't remember who it is, always brings this amazing potatoes au gratin.

Oh, yeah.

That has like ham in it and they, they cook it. So it's a, it's a really. It's a thick. It's a thick consistency and it's. It has this great brown crust on top. Man.

And you're killing me.

To me, it's. To me. I like just before. Burnt.

Yeah, right.

Just before. Just before. Man, I love that.

Is that the cheese that's on top?

Yeah, the cheese. Or I think, I think there might be some. A small sprinkling of breadcrumbs or something like that, but.

Oh, boy, you're killing me. Yeah, my mom used to make that too.

Awesome.

I'd love to have. I'd like to have that one back.

Awesome stuff. Sometimes I think I might be that, that guy that people say, oh, boy, gotta deal with Joe this year. You still gonna be there?

I think you like controversy. I think you thrive on it.

I don't know, I don't necessarily like controversy, but I'm not afraid of it. I'm not. I'm not afraid to kind of let it happen. Right. A little joust here and there. Me, me and my middle daughter are just alike when it comes to that. And we are polar opposites on just about everything when it comes to opinion.

Some fireworks going on, Thanksgiving, and we love it.

Everybody else. Else around us hates it.

Okay. Do you, do you go at it sometimes and then shake hands at the end of the day?

We're definitely not mean spirited, but we're not kind either. We're not necessarily kind. I mean, you know, a little jab, a little insult here and there, but we understand that that's coming and we, when we get it right, it's not, it's. It's. I don't want to say it's all in fun, but it is. It's kind of all in fun, if that makes sense. But there are definitely family tensions when you go to these events. Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever it might be. There are some weird things that happen when you go to these Types of things. And Thanksgiving dinner is probably the biggest one that people experience this, these family tensions where they have to get together with people that maybe there's some clashing personalities, there's some history behind it. Right. Some unsettled scores maybe. And plus, everybody's together. I think those are the, probably the biggest things that, why Thanksgiving triggers these tensions or this anxiety is everybody's kind of. They're close together, they're kind of forced to interact and deal with each other. The combination of that extended time together. I don't know if you're like this or not. We're not necessarily like this, but if you're hosting Thanksgiving, there is this pressure to have the perfect event, the perfect holiday event. Everything, all the food's just right, all the, the environment's right, the decorations are right, the table is set right. You just have this dynamic where you're. You have this high pressure, high anxiety. Everybody's together closely. Clashing personalities. Maybe there's some history with people that's, that's unsettled. Unless it's handled well, it can be a real disaster.

Do you remember having any real disasters on Thanksgiving?

I remember when I was a kid, people arguing. And I think back in those days, we just didn't. We didn't have the tools to handle it that we have now. I think we are much more self aware now on how we're interacting with people. And I think, I don't want to say less selfish, but it felt that these types of situations bubbled up more when I was a kid. I don't see them as much anymore, but boy, when I was a kid, I saw them. People arguing and fighting and, and storming out the door and all that stuff. Yep, I certainly saw my share of it. If I'm reading my mail out loud.

When I was a kid, I understand. I don't know if I'm getting ahead of you, Joe, but I was thinking about this when you sent me the topic and we've talked about values. And a couple of my big values are family. And getting along together is a huge part of my values. And not just family, but friendships. There's nothing that I don't have an ego invested in winning an argument or going down that road or creating a conflict more important than my family relationship and my friendships. It just overshadows the whole thing. And I think that's where and why it's not worth it for me to go down those roads.

Yeah, I can't agree with you more, Kurt, because once you have your values and Your mindset and your attitude. Right. And we'll talk a little bit about that. This is going to just kind of be an open ended conversation and we'll cover everything that we, that we need to cover during the talk. But once you have that mindset, once you have decided in your mind that this relationship is more important than my opinion, and that's kind of goes, that kind of goes across, across any interaction that you have with family, any interaction that you have with friends. Right. That this relationship is more important than my opinion. It's okay that we have a conversation. If we can have a conversation about it and we have no ego invest in it, we can have an intelligent, thoughtful, gracious conversation. I'm all for that. I'm all for even a more dynamic conversation. As long as we understand that we love each other. As long as we understand that when all is said and done, we'll be okay. Might like I said before, my daughter and I are like that. We can have these jousts, but we do. We also understand that when all said and done, we're still going to hang out together and we'll be okay.

Has it gotten that way just directly? Because you're pretty direct but with your family, if you isolate this to this one daughter. Have you guys had that conversation about.

How we interact and what is our dynamic and have we set ground rules? Yeah, not necessarily. I think they have kind of the ground rules have exposed themselves as we went along and we've had a few discussions here and there that, that did get a little more emotional than either one of us wanted it to get. Yeah. Dance your question. No, we not, we did not have a formal conversation to say, okay, if we're going to talk about this, we're going to avoid this subject. We're not going to be mad, we're not going to do this. But we've come to that almost silent understanding.

Okay, does that make sense? You know, I think it's more than that. I think you're good at an apology. I think we've had this conversation where you'll say something maybe the day before and you've maybe you had some evening to marinate over it. You're pretty quick to go and apologize.

That's an important posture to take, is be willing to apologize even when you're not 100% wrong. Because there's a sense of maturity, there's a sense of graciousness that comes with an apology that it kind of squelches any toxic dynamic. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Man, I have no problem stepping out there and giving it a shot. But when it comes down to it, if I'm wrong, if I've since said something out of turn or I was wrong about an opinion or a thought, I am quick to apologize. And that's something that I've learned over the years and that I have no ego invested in it. I'm okay to apologize. So thanks for recognizing that. I appreciate that, man. But there are certainly these family dynamics that go on when we get together in these gatherings, but we can survive it, right? I don't think it's good to avoid it. I don't think it's good to either ostracize a family member unless they're abusive, right? Unless the toxic toxicity reaches abuse, unless the dynamic reaches abuse. I don't think it's good to ostracize a family member or a friend because of an opinion about faith or religion or lifestyle or anything like that. I think it's important to bring yourself to these events. Even though you may not get along with everybody or you may vehemently disagree with somebody about something, whatever it might be. I don't think it's good to either ostracize somebody and I don't think it's good to avoid the situation. I think as we, we grow as human beings, when we can learn to interact with each other despite our, our wide and varied differences. So I'd like to talk about some, some tips for surviving these family dynamics.

I'm thinking of one just as you're talking. I don't know if I'm going to get ahead of you, but since you're just getting started, I'm going to say, why do we forget all that anxiety you have about the holiday coming up and someone that you have a conflict with that's going to be there? I don't say forget about it, but don't stew over it for a week. That's only going to make it worse. Maybe you can come to peace with it and decide that you're just not going to let this bother you. You're going to either maybe not get into certain conversations, or you're going to have a way to handle it and just have a good time and just forget all that.

It's only one day and you can do that. It's not even one day at tops. What is it at the most?

Four or five hours?

Four or five hours at the most. If you hang around for the football games and for second helpings and a nap and all that other stuff. It might be, it might be six, seven, eight hours, right?

Yeah.

Depending on when you start Thanksgiving. It seems to me that a lot of people start Thanksgiving mid afternoon, which is always a weird thing for me. Oh, yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna eat at 2:00. Okay. It's just an odd, kind of an odd time. That's, that's what I've seen the Thanksgivings that I've been to and that we've, we've hosted. But you're right. Come, come with the right mindset just to say, you know what? I'm just going to go have a good time, no matter what. It's temporary. And that's a big part of surviving these events, is to go in with a good mindset. I couldn't agree with you more, Kurt.

I think it works even with people that you work with. I have some people that maybe I don't work with a lot and find out that I'm going to be helping somebody and this could be, this could be really difficult. I have. I get kind of crazy. But, you know, I've. When I change my attitude going into that and I just say, I'm just going to have fun with this. I know this is, this is, this person is difficult for me, but I'm going to work through this and it always turns out much better.

I like that. Kurt, there's two things about setting your mindset beforehand and during the beforehand mindset is I'm going to go, it's just four or five hours and I'm going to be grateful for the experience. And when you're in the middle of it, when something comes up which inevitably may come up, say to yourself, man, this is going to make a great story one day because we can look back at those times and say, man, do you remember when Uncle Elmer decided to change his clothes right in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner because. Because he thought it was too hot in the house and he was making a stand. Boy, this is going to make a great story one day, right?

One of our favorite movies. Well, I gotta let you get into this episode, but my dad and our family love the. The Christmas vacation movie.

Cousin Eddie. Everybody has a cousin Eddie.

There you go. Nothing goes right for poor Griswolds.

We. I know that we have a. We have a couple interesting shows coming up, Kurt. Movie focused. And we might just explore the lessons from Christmas vacation. Right.

I've already picked out my movie. If you could do that one. We'll split time and discuss the lessons learned from those two holiday.

That would be cool. You know, rolling back to the, to how to handle some of these family dynamics. There are some things that you can do, some practical ways of surviving these family dynamics, these situations that you might find yourself in on Thanksgiving dinner. During Thanksgiving dinner. One, there's no problem with redirecting conversations. When somebody starts to bring up topics that politics, religion, what they do for work or how, whether somebody has a job or not and they, whether they like their, their son in law or daughter in law or whatever it is, it's pretty easy to redirect those conversations to neutral topics, to just general topics about TV shows or movies or childhood memories, whatever it might be. Those are safe conversations and understand that you're in a group of people. So even though my daughter and I may like to joust and may get something out of it, we need to understand that this is, that's not a time for this, this larger gathering. We need to be able to redirect those conversations and set boundaries too. That's, that's an important point. To set boundaries, you can use either direct statements and say, hey, we're not going there. But you know, it might be better to use a little humor or be a little more polite to steer clear of those triggering subjects. Like I'm here for the mashed potatoes, not for politics. Right. Which is a good, just a good mindset to have and know when to walk away. Right. Sometimes you just gotta say, hey, I'm going for, I'm going for a quick walk or I need to go to the bathroom or I need to get something to drink just to kind of push your way out of this. You know what a good thing, a good method is too, Kurt, is to pre plan those people that you know you're going to get along with and to make sure that you have, you have an ally there that you can lean on when things get weird.

I'm not worried that things are gonna get weird, but I definitely, I think having a pre plan going in, if you think that, you know, this could be a, with this political season, this could be one of those holidays that could be rough. And if, if you think that's going to happen. Yeah, I like your idea. Let's, let's go to more neutral topics.

So pre plan your interactions with Cousin Eddie. And there's nothing like having that conversation with Cousin Eddie and you're kind of stuck and Eddie's got you caught in the corner telling him, telling him, telling you about his new SUV or the, how he's always cleaning out the Garden and found the dead body or whatever it might be, right? He catches you in the corner and somebody catches your eye and gives you a little bit of a wink to know, hey, I feel your pain. I feel your pain, man. To have those allies in those family dynamics is always a good thing, but.

You can always find good in difficult people sometimes. I think Cousin Eddie's a perfect example of that.

Understanding that these are human beings, right, with their own kind of weird dynamics, their own kind of weird idiosyncrasies. But you have your own weird dynamics and weird idiosyncrasies and people are putting up with yours, so you can take a few hours and put up with theirs, right?

I think you're, you know, I think my brother in law is really good at conversation and he's really good at those win friends and influence people kind of questions. He'll, he'll start asking what, you know, what are you up to? How's work, what's. And he'll go down those, he's really good at that. And, and I think you can think of those topics that are neutral that you could talk about for your holiday gathering.

And you know what, if you take a step back and you look at your family dynamic and you look at these gatherings and you can't identify your family's. Cousin Eddie. You may be Cousin Eddie.

I love cousin Eddie.

Me too. Me too. And we talked about mindset. You know, we can, we can reframe how we're interacting with people. We can reframe their, our attitudes towards them and look at them in a different, different way. And I use this example of reframing. Now, you know, we're not driving down the road during a Thanksgiving dinner, but I use this example of reframing during traffic when somebody cuts me off or they're driving too slow or they're driving, I think they're driving like an idiot. And I just want to honk my horn and, and make sure they know that I think they're an idiot. I take a step back and I think what could the, what could this person be going through right now? Maybe he's, he just got a call that his kid is sick. Or maybe they're late for an interview because their car broke down and they need to rush to get to this job. It could be a wide myriad of things that people are acting the way they're acting. And let's, let's bring that grace to these family dynamics as well. You may not agree, you may not even like what's going on but maybe you can reframe your attitude towards the situation, towards the person.

I'm going to take your advice. Been trying to get ahead of the grocery shopping for Thanksgiving, but my wife said we have to go over to BJ's today. And I said today. And it was because we were out a couple of times this week and the traffic is bad. I think everybody is off Joe right now. And I swear people are getting worse in driving. Matter of fact, in Connecticut, they've been saying how we've had more people hit as pedestrians and killed in Connecticut this year than ever and also deaths on the highway. So I don't think. I think the stats are proving me right. But I'm going to reframe this ride we're going to take into town today and try not to get irritated. I'm just going to drive defensively. Well, point well taken. And I appreciate it.

And have some gratitude, too, right? Whether you're driving during the holiday, have some gratitude that it is the holidays that you do, that you do have some time off and you have a car that you can drive into town and all those things. But also have some gratitude when you're, when you're in these family situations. Great food, the funny moments, the stories that this is going to. Grateful for, the stories that this is going to bring. I think it just, it can really build a sense of togetherness.

I agree.

As long as we. As long as we take a step back and be grateful for the situation. Grateful for an amazing potatoes au gratin, grateful for white meat and dark meat, Grateful for the turkey that came, the stuffing that came out of the turkey, and the stuffing that was cooked outside of the turkey. Right?

Yeah.

Whether you're getting marshmallows on your. On your sweet potatoes, or whether it's made with honey. Right. Just be grateful for the situation, for the great food and the funny moments, and reflect on all the things that you're there for. For crying out loud. The holiday is called Thanksgiving. So take some time to genuinely be thankful for the moment, even the weirdness of the moment.

That's probably your best point you've made in this episode. You're right. That's what this whole holiday is about. And if you want to learn about gratefulness, practice it tomorrow as we're on Thanksgiving Day. There are just so many things as you were talking through that I could think of that I could be grateful for. The warmth of the home and the food and the company. And, you know, I was thinking, my wife's going to be missing her mom, this year, you know, you think of folks that were at the table years ago to my grandparents, I think about. I'm getting a little choked up thinking about it, Joe. They were special people. So we'll leave it there.

Yeah, definitely. Avoid. Right, brother?

Yeah, that's what it is. Miss them a lot.

Absolutely. As we wrap up, prepare your mindset. Prepare mentally. Prepare yourself. The one thing that you can do beforehand is say to yourself, this is temporary and I'm thankful for this experience. It's temporary and I'm thankful for this experience. And when you're in the heat of the moment, this will make a great story one day. Whatever's going on, man, this is going to make a great story one day. And as I always say, memories are better than stuff, right? And if all else fails, football, football, football. The great equalizer.

I love that part, except it's kind of rough if people in your family are rooting for the other team. There's another conflict on Thanksgiving Day.

If I'm going to have a conflict between the Cincinnati Bengals or the Cleveland Browns or the Patriots versus the Giants or whatever it is, I'm not sure who's playing on Thanksgiving Day. What is it? It's always Giants and the Cowboys and Detroit, Detroit and the Cowboys. And I think, actually I think the NFL has thrown in probably four or five other games during this holiday. So whatever's going on, if you need to argue about something, football is a safe subject.

I was thinking about. My dad is a storyteller. I think some of the belly laughs that I can remember at Thanksgiving is my dad getting into that good mood of telling stories and jokes. Even though I think that's a great one that we passed on. Have a good time, remember those good times and make another great time. Have some fun and humor.

Couldn't agree more.

Great episode, dude.

Couldn't agree more.

I'm ready. I'm all prepared for tomorrow.

How about your win for the week?

Margita booked us a Christmas time trip to Disney World.

No kidding.

Last minute, going a week and a half.

This is the second time she's done this for you in a year, right?

Yeah. Really? I mean, but she's coming with me this time, which is even better. This was a group of people has been planning for this for at least a year because I know her friend Judy has a cruise booked with some other of my listeners. I know there's five of them for sure going on that cruise, but they got some time going before the cruise to Disney World and there's going to be like 20 or so of my listeners there. And I'm so excited. She's excited about it. You know, she is a travel agent. She was able to get pop sentry, which wasn't that easy to do. But she got a preferred room which is one of the cheaper rooms down there. And she's getting really excited about it. She keeps, every day she's telling, I wish we had that time. That was one thing I was saying on my show to someone on Monday night when I was recording. I didn't have that year of anticipation. A little disappointed that it's coming in a week and a half in a slight little way, but very excited that we're going Christmas. I haven't been at Christmas time at Disney World in a long time. So very excited that she's excited about it. Going to see lots of friends and I think I'll have a good time.

I know you'll have a good time, man. I know you'll have a good time. And I, I'm. I make fun of you a little bit here and there about your passion for Disney and how much you bring it up and how much you talk about it. But to see the joy in your face as a friend, as a buddy, to see the joy in your face when you talk about Disney and you're in this trip coming up is, is a real blessing. Dude, I'm glad you're going.

This is gonna be a good week. This has traditionally been a week where the crowds might be a little less, although that doesn't happen that much at Disney World. I think it's gonna be plenty crowded, but it'll be a nice weather too. We're seeing like maybe 70s, maybe low 80s, something like that. Looking for some great weather. Yeah, very excited about it. I had to cancel some vacation time I had planned for the end of the year, but this is fine. It'll be good.

So my win for the week. I wish it wasn't a win for the week, but it is what it is. I've got a lot to do at my primary income producing activity, my day job, right. I've got a lot going on. I've got a lot to do. I've got another trip to UK coming up. Just a lot going on, year end reviews and making sure my team kind of goes into. Is prepared to go into the last month of the year and into next year with focus and understanding of our goals and pulling all that stuff together. I don't do this very often, but last Saturday I worked all day. In fact, I did a few hours on Sunday as well, but last Saturday I worked all day just like it was a regular workday. Actually a pretty long workday, but man, I hammered out easily three days worth of work.

Wow.

During that Saturday I was just hyper focused getting it done. I didn't have to deal with any of the distractions of regular work. Just ticking off the boxes, man, ticking off the activities, sending out the information that I need to send out, putting together the, the plans and the strategies that I need to, needed to put together answer emails that I'm embarrassed to say or a week or more late on a response from me. So I'm going to call that a win. Not that I had to work on a Saturday, but when I did, man, I got a lot done.

I feel bad for you. I don't like missing a weekend working on my day job. I treasure my extra curricular work that I do at home just having the day off. So I felt bad for you, but I'm so glad. Does it feel good to get that three extra days worth of work done?

It does, it does. If I didn't have 12 days worth of work to do, I still have some catch up to do. I'm not, I'm not working over the, over the holiday, but I'm gonna hammer it out hard today and, and I took Monday off as a vacation day and I'm going to sit back and do a whole lot of nothing.

Well, you earned it.

How about your resource for the week?

I personally love this resource. I learned about it with my Labrador retrievers, especially my black one, Luke. He was so hard to go for a walk and you know how much I love going for a walk and you know how much I love dogs, so that is special time for me. But when you hook up a leash to them and they think you're a sled and they pull. When I say pull, I mean like dig down like they're pulling a sled. And that was Luke. And one day, and he was probably like 8 or 9 years old by the time we discovered this pet safe, easy walk dog harness, it was a magical day. The angel spoke when we found this harness. Joe. Because if you had a harness where it hooks on the back of them kind of in the middle of their back, then they really think they can pull. And you could try putting a collar around, you know, conventional collar and even that pull in the neck doesn't bother them at all. And I was shocked that this harness that hooks in the front is basically what it does. And it must the way it's designed, it must be perfectly placed. And if you have it set up right, it's still a harness. So you feel like you really got a hold of the dog. But it really annoys them when they go to pull and it pulls the front of their chest.

Oh, yeah, I get it.

There's something magical about that spot that it catches their brain. Instead of thinking, oh, I'm in charge and I'm pulling this guy, hey, I'm 260 if I'm an ounce. If they can pull me, we could pull anybody. So we had the same problem with my 5 year old dog. Now he's really good. Sawyer is really good. Now he's £226 when we got him. He's a big dog. You'd be shocked even me describing him. When you see him up close. He's got some size to him and he can be rambunctious. But I'll take him out around the yard. He is fine. He's so good. I said to the woman that, that we adopted from, I just can't believe he's so such a joy to take for a walk. Except he's not good. When we go up to the middle school or out in public kind of in a place where he's going to encounter. He loves it though. He's so enthusiastic. And that's part of the problem. They don't think, they just lose their mind. And he is just so bad. And he'll want to chase dogs and cars and people and he's got a lot of energy. We got this for him finally. And the magic is back. It's just fantastic. Matter of fact, it was so bad the first times we had it, he saw a dog and that dog was rambunctious and close to him. I nearly flipped him over. He did a roll. Wow. This thing held on and luckily I was prepared for it. But ever since then, I really haven't had an issue. So the pet safe, easy walk dog harness, if you're having trouble with a dog, I got it on chewy and check it, check it out.

Awesome. Awesome.

I know, I'm very enthusiastic about that.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, if we, if we had a dog, I might check it out.

Well, you get the little dogs, they're not, they're not a problem.

We, for years, for 16 years we had a Labrador retriever.

So you know what I'm talking about.

Definitely, definitely know what you're talking about. My resource is an interesting gadget as well. Back in July, before we went on Vacation. I had purchased a handful of inflatable rafts, Pool rafts, floats. And they were big, so they required. We certainly weren't going to sit there and try to blow them up ourselves. They require. They required a pump. So I went on Amazon and I bought this portable air compressor, this little portable inflator for about. For about 24, $25 on Amazon when I bought it. And I got it and it just didn't work. It didn't put out enough air. The plug wasn't the right size. It didn't put it out on the fare. It was really. It was really designed not for rafts, but it's designed for tires and sports balls and soccer balls and basketballs and all of those things. Small, you know, where you put a. Either bike tires or car tires or whatever it might be. I had. I had one of these already that you plug in. You drag out of the garage and you plug it in if you need to pump up the tires or pump up your. Your bike tires or whatever. Whatever it might be. So my intention was just to send this little thing back because it wasn't going to do the job. Well, I forgot to send it back. I forgot to return it. And it sat on a shelf for. Since July. Well, this past weekend, my driver's side back tire was low. And I thought, God, I gotta drag out that. I gotta drag out that Dagon pump and get the extension cord. And. And I thought, hold on, I've got this little pump. And I had not touched it or used it since I bought it once I realized cordless wasn't going. Yes.

Yes. What do you mean by cordless?

It was. It's cordless. It's charged by a usb. By USB cord. Oh, and it has a flashlight on it. It had. You can preset the, the pounds on it.

Yeah, yeah.

And it worked great. And it's a small little. It fits right in the palm of your hand.

It didn't take long to pump up the. It did tire.

It took a little bit, but not, not terribly long. I think it. I think it put five pounds in in one minute.

Okay.

Or two minutes or something like that. I mean, great to have in the back of your trunk.

Yeah.

Keep it charged. It's got a little flashlight on it. But I was surprised how. How. Well, this thing's. This thing works.

It worked great, mind.

Yeah. And I just used it this week and I thought, this is a great little buy. Right now. It's $30 on Amazon. I think I bought it for 24 or $25, but well worth the 30 bucks. I think I'm going to buy another one to keep in my wife's car.

Right. I love these little gadgets that. Because I'm with you, that is one of those chores I cannot stand doing. And especially because of the extension cord you got to pull out. I had an old one that was really poor. And you know how much I love going over to Home Depot and talking about cordless. I have. What's it, Black and Decker? What's the red? No, I have a Craftsman. You know when they have these deals at Lowe's where you buy the cordless with the battery pack and you get an extra. You know, there's a sale on. I think I got this free. I have the same. And I just love that it's rechargeable with the battery. The battery pack.

Right.

So I have the Craftsman one.

Awesome.

It's changed my attitude about pumping up the tires. And that happens a lot in the wintertime. You lose air.

Well, right now, this thing's only 30 bucks on Amazon. It fits in the palm of your hand. Works great. So I decided to also. It came. It comes with all the little attachments that you would expect it to come with. Ball, needle, and some other stuff. But worked great on the tire. So I decided to pump up a couple a soccer ball and a little basketball. Worked great on that. And the battery lasted a reasonable amount of time. Enough for me to do all of that. I'm just shocked by how well this little thing for 30 bucks. It's $30 now. I bought it for 25. How well this little thing works. And it fits right in the palm of your hand.

You just gave me an idea for my resource. Next episode.

Awesome. Can't wait. How about your quote for the week?

Family is not an important thing. It's everything that comes from famous philosopher Michael J. Fox.

Certainly is. And he would know about it. Right. He's certainly had some trials and tribulations in his life. He was diagnosed very young with Parkinson's, and his wife stood by him, his family stood by him. He's been a real shining example of resilience. Inspiration. Inspiration. And for him to recognize that family is everything. Couldn't agree more.

Well, I told you when we started this episode, that was, for me, the most important part about trying to get through the holidays. Because if you keep focused on the fact that your value is your family is the most important thing, you don't have to worry about all this other stuff going on.

Absolutely.

What's your quote?

Joe, it comes from Melanie White. Melanie White is a. She's a writer and a comedian. She's written for Jay Leno and she's written short stories and just done a lot of stuff, a lot of background work. And she's pretty well known, apparently, in the Pittsburgh comedy scene. But Melanie White says Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings one by one as each relative goes home.

Reminds me of that. Thanks for coming. But most of all, thanks for leaving.

Yes.

I'm glad you brought some humor to this very difficult subject we had today.

Yeah. And the subject itself can be humorous if we let it, right?

Yes.

Dealing with these family dynamics and dealing with the stress and the tension and going with a great mindset. Maybe have a little bit of strategy. Find an ally. Right. Understand that you're there as a member of your family and don't avoid it. Don't ostracize anybody. Don't. Don't avoid the situation. Go have fun, be happy. Make, you know, maybe quietly make fun of people in your own head, you know, and at very least, man, it's going to be a great story one day. Right?

I love it. Fantastic episode. Joe.

Our website is dudes in progress.com dudes in progress.com. our email address is dudes in progress.com dudes@dudes in progress.com if you want to reach out to us for anything related to the show, we're happy to chat with you about it. Remember, as we go into Thanksgiving and we enter that, then to enter those doors of where 20, 25, 30 family members are all there in different dynamics. Don't expect perfection. Just progress through the day. Eat your food, have fun and keep moving forward.

Yeah. I love it. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Make it a memorable one.

Talk to you soon.