Emotional Intelligence

It.

Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine standing at the edge of a vast emotional ocean.

The waves crash against the shore, carrying.

Stories of joy, sorrow, resilience, and growth. Each ripple represents a moment of vulnerability.

A chance to dive deeper into our own hearts. What is emotional intelligence?

It's a skill you can learn, and it a game changer that can transform.

How we connect with others.

Think of EQ as a compass, guiding.

Us through life's tempests, helping us navigate relationships, decisions, and our own inner tides. I'm Curtis.

My pal here is Joe.

And we are dudes in progress.

Hey, Joe.

Hey, man. Welcome back, my friend.

Yes, it's good to be back.

It's good to go away, but it's good to come back home, too.

Look at you all Disney fied, man.

Oh, I got my Mickey Mouse sweatshirt on.

Yeah, I know that this is an audio podcast, but Kurt's sitting there with his Mickey Mouse sweatshirt and looks rested and relaxed and ready to hit life.

Man, after his long trip to Disney with his Disney pals. Yeah.

Spent ten days. That was fun.

I tell you, Kurt, that may have been the most relaxing, calming introduction we've ever done.

Yeah, I just feel good.

Each ripple represents a moment of vulnerability.

How about that? Man?

I love it.

You love my style of writing.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Well done.

Well done.

Yeah, I was in an airport just coming back from Orlando. I love checking out the bookstores when I'm traveling. They always have good self improvement kind of titles to give me an idea.

I don't necessarily buy them there. I'll go then check them out on Amazon.

But I saw this one had caught.

My eye for two reasons.

There's a couple words there.

Actually, all three words in this title caught my attention.

It's emotional intelligence habits by Dr. Travis Bradbury. And I'm thinking, I'm pretty sure I.

Read his other book, and I was trying to find evidence in my Kindle.

Whether I did, and I couldn't find that.

I've actually read this, but I'm feeling like I've read the other book that he did.

I think it was called emotional intelligence 2.01 of these books, where it also gives you a test so you can.

Get an idea like an IQ kind.

Of test, only this is what they.

Use the term EQ for emotional intelligence.

He's one of the premier researchers and.

Authorities on this topic.

And, yeah, I was taking.

Then I got back home, and I'm looking at the description of the book.

Well, first of all, those words caught my attention.

Emotions.

We've talked about that intelligence, but habits.

Like, oh, Joe and I have talked about habits quite a bit. And how does that little twist, putting those.

I'm always up for a good habit conversation.

Right.

It's interesting, Kurt, the term EQ, I've heard it over the past several years.

But it's a relatively new term.

I think it's a relatively new concept.

Right?

Yeah, I think this book. Yeah, I was going to say the emotional Intelligence 2.0. Oh, I was going to look it up, but it's even referenced.

I was going to give you a.

Little bit of this book, but I.

Want to say, like, 2019.

So it's not that old. It's fairly new, like you say. But he's saying how EQ is critical.

To your success in talking about life and at work. We're going to go into some of.

The framework that he's talked about in.

His previous books, and then he gets into this habit stuff for this book.

Gives you some idea of how to.

Overcome lack of motivation and willpower to form new habits. Increase your confidence, likability, happiness, self control and mental strength. Form strong relationships by mastering conflict, communication, neutralizing toxic people, which is similar.

We were talking about a couple of episodes. We'd been talking about making friends and.

Also beat stress, increase the productivity, and become a great leader.

So those little bullets caught my eye. So I think I may eventually, I'm.

Reading another book right now, but I think I'm going to get into this book.

But I just wanted to intro this topic this week, Joe. So I did some research from a few articles out there on the Internet.

And see if this is something that catches our interest.

Yeah.

And maybe we can expand on it a little bit. I know when you first told me.

That this is what we are talking about, my immediate reaction was, okay, is.

There a test we can take? I love a good personality test or a good IQ test or some kind.

Of personal ranking kind of test.

Those kind of things. I love those types of things. So if we can find a little emotional intelligence test that we can do, nothing terribly extensive, but I'll bet you we can find something that we can take within a few minutes, and it'll at least give us guidelines, and then.

Maybe we can, in another episode, chat.

About it on the show.

Yeah, well, you texted me that this.

Morning, and I was already thinking about.

That as I was doing this research.

But I was thinking I probably can't.

Do both and be ready for today. Funny enough, I did find a pretty.

Good free one, and I did it, and I'm going to mention it in.

My resources at the end.

So we can.

Have you taken it yet?

Yes, I have.

Awesome. Okay, well, don't share your results. Okay.

Right.

I'm not going to spoil it yet.

Because I'll take it as well. And maybe we'll talk about our results next week.

Exactly. And this book would be cool.

His previous book, and this book also includes a free test, so you can.

Because.

Let's get into this. I love asking questions and getting your.

Gut reaction to things.

Would you say that you are an emotional person, Joe?

Yes, I am. I cry more than I used to, but that's not the only measurement for emotion.

Emotional. Right.

We all go right there.

I think as guys, man, he's so emotional, or she's so emotional usually means they're crying, right?

Yeah.

So that's right where I went.

But generally, people know when I'm happy.

And I'm not afraid to be sad. I'm not afraid to express fear and anxiety at a certain level, I think that we need to be careful in social situations not to drag other people down.

But generally, yeah, I would say I'm.

Okay with my emotions, and I am an emotional person.

How about you?

No. Never considered myself an emotional, emotional. I'm more like a spock, I think, in that regard. Yeah, maybe the word. I would have used the word stoic.

Yeah.

I know when to be stoic, but I also know that there are situations that emotions are appropriate and they help communicate some kind of message, and we don't think necessary. We have to be careful.

Kurt, I think to not equate emotion with sadness or crying and things like that.

Generally, I find you to be an emotional person, interestingly enough.

Okay.

You're not afraid to laugh.

You're not afraid to express frustration.

You're not afraid to tell people that you're feeling, in a way, generally, and.

You'Ve always been like that. Somebody might say, well, you know, you're really good friends and you know each.

Other, but I think since day one, you've always been like that.

That's an interesting take on it. I think where I was coming from.

And as I was thinking of emotional.

Intelligence, I think there's intelligence in your immediate reaction to be emotional about something. So, to me, I'm analytical.

When someone gives me bad news, some.

People just lose it.

They can't think, and they're not that.

Good under a stressful situation.

That's where I was thinking.

Got you.

Yeah. So, in that way, I'm pretty good in controlling my emotion up front.

I'm fairly stoic, too, then I would say, if that's the benchmark.

But I also know that, and I.

Guess I've learned this as I've gotten older, that emotions certainly have its place in relationships and communication.

You're smarter than me on this because.

It'S interesting, because I read this emotional intelligence.

My first perception is I am really intelligent when it comes to emotions, because I do tend to control my emotions.

I don't fly off the cuff, I think.

Right.

And respond emotionally to things, especially at work. I had a situation today.

Someone came to us. We were doing some support, and quite.

Often people, when they have technical issues.

They'Re emotional about them. I think one lady made a comment.

Like, we can't fix this.

Right?

You're not having a conversation over a phone. You're chatting about it.

And I was in a meeting, and.

I see this come across like my head. I know, exactly. We can fix. Like, she went right off to, this can't be fixed.

So let me ask you something.

If you did fix it, and she.

Said, wow, kurt, thanks a lot, man. I really appreciate this. And she was genuinely excited. Would you call her an emotional person.

Because she got excited that I fixed it? Yeah, probably not, though.

See, somehow we equate the word emotional with the negative expression of our feelings.

Yeah, that's true.

Sadness or anger or frustration.

Anxiety.

And I think we have to be careful with that.

Yeah. And as I'm introduced this topic, I.

Learned that there's different components to this, and I'm probably only good at one.

Of them, and I'm weighing that one really heavy.

Just give a little insight in what.

I'm starting to interpret from what I've been reading so far.

Yeah, you're good at not showing people that you're sad or mad or angry or frustrated.

You're stoic in those areas. But you do commonly express happiness and joy and general cheerfulness.

Yeah.

Right. And those are emotions, too, aren't they?

Absolutely. Well, let's get into this a little bit. I got some more questions for you.

A lot of these comes from an article.

I'll tell you what it was at the end. Do you recognize the emotion you are feeling? Do you recognize emotions in yourself during the day?

Joe?

I'm not sure.

I'm just trying to run my mind through my day very quickly and understand how today went.

Yeah, I would say yes.

Okay.

Yeah. I know when I'm feeling happy about something. I know when I'm feeling a little.

Hesitant or anxious about something, I would.

Say, yeah, generally, I recognize the emotions that I'm feeling. I think the emotion that I have.

The most problem with generally is understanding.

And I don't even know if this.

Would be considered an emotion, but understanding. When I'm feeling blue or depressed about.

Something, and I'm not talking about clinical depression, I don't know any other word.

To use for it. And I don't want to go down that road. But when I'm feeling blue or depressed.

Or melancholy about something, I'm not sure. I always recognize that for what it.

Is, and I'm not sure I always accept it for what it is.

And I agree with everything you're saying.

For myself, I would have a hard time really knowing, am I good at this? Do I really?

I'd have to ponder this one for.

A while and I could hear in your tone you're doing the same. So I think we're on the same line there with that one.

Can you manage those feelings without allowing them to swamp you?

And I think this starts to get.

Into, when you dig in a hole.

Do you just keep going down that hole?

I'm not sure about this one. I know definitely there have been times that I've managed my feelings to get a job done.

I've been great in a crisis and.

I've been the voice of reason when everybody else was an emotional wreck. But there have been times that I.

Have let fear overtake me.

There have been times that I've let frustration overtake me.

We've talked a lot about the flood.

Of 2023, and I think there was a lot of second guessing and a lot of frustration that I let overtake me.

Did I let them swamp me? I would say at times, yes, I have. I did let them overtake my state of being in the moment one or.

Two times that I can remember in recent memory.

You just made me think of a really famous scene.

I remember in our family trip to Disney World with my wife's family, we.

Had a hurricane come up right up the middle of Florida, right towards Orlando.

They closed the parks. We were in Epcot.

They told us ahead of time they're going to close the parks at noon.

We were staying at the polynesian, beautiful, amazing resort.

It was the first time we were staying there. And we got back, they had a flashlight and some instructions on the bed.

Of what to do during the hurricane. One of them was, if you really feel uncomfortable, take the mattress and put it up against the sliding glass door.

So we waited as it start to.

Get to pee, like 1011 o'clock I mean, it felt like the roof was going to come off this resort. We were getting gusts over 100 miles an hour. You were looking outside the window.

Now there were my family, three kids.

My wife, and same on my sister in law's family.

They have three kids and their husband. Every last one of them panicked and.

Started running over to the main building.

During the middle of the hurricane. And I got so mad at them.

They were told not to go, not.

To do that, and they got scared and they ran off into the middle of a hurricane.

And when they got over there, I'm.

Going to go with them, see what happens. They were told, go back to your.

Room and follow the instructions while things.

Are flying around the resort.

It's not that the wind that's blowing, Joe, it's the things that the wind is.

Funny, but I saw panic in the situation.

Of course, the roof never did blow off, and things end up pretty. They handled it quite well, but learned.

Something that day about myself, which kind of knew.

Can you motivate yourself to get jobs done?

A loaded question.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I think I have a hint, a.

Touch of ADHD or some kind of.

Letters behind my name, some kind of.

Acronym, whatever it is. But I can always motivate myself to take one step in the right direction.

So I'm not sure about that question and whether that's the right question to ask.

I think I understand what it's asking. Like, do you allow emotions to hinder.

Your progress in getting something done, like fear, for instance?

Yeah, fear, I would say definitively, yes.

I can motivate myself to get jobs done. How well I stick with those jobs.

Right?

Yeah.

And how many breaks I have to take and how distracted I get in.

The process is a whole different subject, I think. But in that moment, can I motivate.

Myself to move beyond whatever emotion I.

Happen to be feeling and do the job? Yeah, absolutely.

I think of the health questionnaire our company likes us to do. One matter of fact, we get a.

Discount on our health insurance if we.

Complete this questionnaire and a couple of other things. I've talked about this where sometimes I.

Feel like I have a little bit of depression or anxiety in my life.

But when you read some of these.

Questions, a lot of times they'll go to a point of, hey, has your anxiety or depression ever caused you to miss work? I'm like, no.

There'll be a lot of questions in that vein. Has it been so crippling that you've done this or what have you? I'm all like, no, it's never gotten that bad.

So as I'm reading these, I'm thinking the same.

So this is an interesting question.

Can you motivate yourself to get jobs done?

Is an interesting thing for me because.

I like being done.

No matter what I'm doing, I want to be done with it.

But that said, I can definitely motivate myself to start.

I can move myself beyond whatever emotional state I happen to be in to take action. Does the job always get done? Let's talk about how interested I am.

Talk about that shelf again, depends on.

How interested I am or else if there's something else that catches my attention.

Shiny object.

Do you sense the emotions of others and respond effectively?

This is a great question.

I am very good at this.

I thought you would say that.

And I'm not being braggadocious and I'm.

Trying to answer this with a certain.

Sense of humility, but I am able.

To sense when people are in a certain emotional state and I don't know.

What it is, but I'm usually spot on.

Yeah, I would agree with that.

And when I can sense something's going on with somebody and I ask and.

They say nothing and I say, I understand.

If there is something and you want.

To chat, just let me know, man.

Yeah.

And inevitably it comes up, right? Maybe a day, maybe an hour, maybe a week. But I do have this.

I don't want to call it a.

Superpower, but I do have a keen.

Sense of people's emotions and when they're.

In a way, even when they're happy about something or sad about something, I.

Think the second part of that was do I respond effectively? Did you ask that?

Yeah.

I don't know. Is it effective to, when you sense somebody is sad to ask them, are you okay?

I think that's effective.

Do I badger? No. Do I pick up on it?

Yeah, almost always.

I'm pretty good at this.

I agree.

And I think one of the reasons.

You are good, you're interested in people.

And you look for it. I would say you don't ignore the signs. So you're very good at that.

I would agree, yeah.

Well, if you've answered yes to these.

Questions, do you sense the emotions of.

Others and respond effectively?

No, I don't have a lot of emphasis.

I'm being tough on myself again.

I think you are.

Yeah.

I don't know if you're trying to be intentionally super stoic or if you're being tough on yourself or maybe you don't know yourself well enough, you.

There are times.

I'm good at this.

Yes. But, yeah, I'm not as good as you.

The score on this one would be lower on mine than yours.

We'll say that.

This is a funny thing with me. One thing I had to learn about this because I feel like I've always.

Had this at some level. One thing I had to learn is to let it go.

When I know something's wrong with somebody.

When I know that there's something cranking inside of them. I used to just want to know.

What'S going on with you, man, or.

Honey, what's going on.

Yeah, I know you said nothing, but I can tell there's something going on. And.

When I was younger. When I was younger, this is where.

I would say I did not respond effectively.

Okay.

And that comes with maturity, right? That comes with maturity and understanding relationships.

And knowing boundaries and all of that good stuff.

Again, it's just interesting.

I think I'm really good at recognizing.

Or managing my feelings without letting them swap you.

I'm really good there. But when I look at this one.

Do you sense emotions of others?

I don't even try.

I don't really try that hard. We'll put it that way.

But, yes, I am empathetic and can be. Not a superpower of mine.

Maybe that was a little arrogant, but.

I agree with you. I think you answered all those honestly. Well, if you have answered yes to these questions, it is likely that you.

Have developed some or all the skills that form the basis of emotional intelligence. So let's define it.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions, and.

To understand and respond to emotions of others, which that part I didn't really understand.

It is a critical skill for success in all areas of life, including personal relationships, work and school. Emotional intelligence is a skill to increase success.

It helps you build stronger relations, manage conflict, and perform better in various aspects of your life. Would you agree with all the above?

I would. And whatever we call this emotional intelligence, being a people person, being empathetic, whatever we call this, if you can get this skill down, you will go a long way, no matter what you're doing.

If you can really get this skill down.

Because when people are around you and they feel like, and they feel safe and they feel respected and they feel.

Encouraged and they feel. I don't know what word I'm looking for.

They feel better when they're around you because you're connected, you have an emotional.

Connection and emotional understanding of the situation, even when they're mad or angry. Even when they're mad or angry at you.

If you can master this skill, you'll.

Go a long way. I do believe that, and I believe.

That this is a foundational skill that will take you a long way, and it will open up doors that degrees won't open up. It'll open up opportunities that skill won't open up.

You can do a lot with emotional intelligence, if that's what we're calling it.

Yeah. And it'll open up doors that what.

People usually consider intelligence or IQ, EQ.

Might open doors that because as a.

Society, we think the super intelligent people are really awesome.

I was thinking of a story. I remember sitting next to this guy when I was younger and getting into technical. I was moving from the business really.

Into the it space, which I was really proud of. Remember sitting next to this one guy.

Who was super intelligent, technology wise, brilliant guy.

He'd probably tell you that too, I think.

And I can remember him on the phone with people and the way he talked to people, just, I was embarrassed for him. He was toxic. Right. And I think one of the reasons.

For my success, and I know I've.

Had people tell me directly I had a technical ability, but also I understood the business and I could solve problems.

Because I understood the business problems and I can empathize with and know what they were going through. That helped me, even though I didn't have the technical ability at the time.

But they always felt they could teach me that part. You can't teach some of this other.

Stuff if they don't want to learn it. If they're toxic, boy, nobody wants to.

Work with that person.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And if you're in a job situation, if you're working for an organization in.

A group of people, and you are the one with the emotional intelligence, you.

Are the one that's typically looked to.

As a leader, right?

Yeah. So I'm going to give you some. I got five core skills in this area.

I'll break it down for you.

Just describe them.

Self awareness. Emotional intelligence allows you to understand your.

Own behavior, reactions and limitations.

This self awareness helps you navigate relationships and make informed decisions. Even as I was thinking of those.

Questions, I don't know, like I said.

I don't know how self aware I am.

This is something I could improve on.

Self regulation.

Managing your emotions and responding thoughtfully, especially.

In challenging situations, is a key to component of EQ. It helps maintain composure and adaptability. And I've already talked about, that's probably.

The one I feel I excel more than others.

This is the one.

Self regulation is the one that.

I think I have a pretty good grasp on it. Sometimes I tilt the machine.

I like the way you put that.

You're talking about a pinball machine.

Yeah, that's a great analogy.

Motivation, EQ, fuels your drive for self improvement and personal growth.

It keeps you motivated to achieve your goals.

We're probably pretty. Both you and I wouldn't have this.

Podcast if we weren't good at this one. One of the reasons we do this.

I feel pretty good about this one as well.

Yeah.

Empathy, the ability to understand others'feelings, without judgment is empathy. High EQ individuals effortless connect with people from diverse backgrounds.

One of the best compliments I've heard, Kurt, about myself and about relating to people, and I've heard this from more than my share. I would say is, man, Joe, when I'm with you, I feel like I'm the most important person in your world. And I think that does speak to empathy.

That does speak to the ability to.

Understand others and their feelings.

And that feels good.

That's something to build on.

Now, I've got a lot of work to do in a lot of other.

Places, dude, I guarantee you that. But I feel good about that.

That's good self awareness.

I like watching movies when I'm on.

The airplane, and I can recommend one.

I think you might like this. Did you see the movie the green book?

I think you'll really.

Green book? No, I've seen the green Mile with Tom Hanks, but not the green book.

Yeah. So it's an interesting story of this italian american Brooklyn guy. You can maybe conjure up some ideas.

Of what big italian family.

He works at a club in the 60s.

There's mafioso kind of things in the club, and he does some things. The club gets shut down for some renovation. He's out of work. He's got him still make ends meet.

He gets recommended to drive this virtuoso piano player around the country, but specifically down south. And he's a black man in the.

He's a tough italian kind of guy, and he's got integrity. He's actually staying away from the mobsters.

A little bit, which isn't interesting. But the way that he doesn't seem.

Like an empathetic guy in the beginning.

And they draw his character up like that. He's not tolerant of when you say diverse backgrounds.

There's a scene where these two black men are doing some work in his.

House, and his wife gives them some water and he throws away the glasses to give you an idea where this starts. And the character who plays this is actually based on a true story, which.

Is, I love when that's the truth.

And the way their relationship starts. And this virtuoso guy is very proper. So you got this italian Brooklyn guy with the mouth and toughness with his very, he's like a classical pianist and he's playing for wealthy people. So I think you'd really love this movie.

It's called the Green Book.

The Green Book.

And, yeah, talk about empathy. He shows it. It's just a human story that I think you'll. And it's a true story and I think you'll really enjoy that. Yeah, I'll definitely check a little side note there.

But yeah, related, check it out to empathy.

You'll see how they both empathize with each other and help each other out during this. I really enjoyed that.

All right, last one, social skills EQ.

Enhances your communication, active listening and relationship building skills. Being approachable and making others feel welcome are a hallmarks of a social intelligence.

Which you alluded to. Yeah. Like we were saying, the benefits, you're.

Going to have more close, meaningful relationships.

You'Re going to be able to handle.

Everyday stress and high level of resilience.

Be more socially competent, greater overall well being, and increase your level of success in many areas of your life. So there you go.

Yeah, I think that there are definitely benefits of emotional intelligence.

And when you look at your list.

Here, have more close, meaningful relationships, be able to handle everyday stress and high.

Level of resilience, and be more socially.

Competent and greater overall well being. Who doesn't want this in their life? Right.

Increase your level of success in many areas of your life. And it's a skill that can be learned, and it's a skill that I've learned over time, sometimes intentionally and sometimes just through life.

We've mentioned a book here a few times over the past couple episodes called the seven habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey.

And Stephen Covey speaks a lot about.

Listening skills and active listening and relationship building. And he speaks to that as one of the habits of highly effective people. And he teaches a whole process about active listening.

And when you do it, you almost.

Feel like you're techniqueing your way through.

A conversation, but it's very effective.

Yeah, I agree. And I've been talking about this with you as we turned into the new year. I think I observe other people in.

Either communities I'm a part of or.

At work and like to be more.

Like to do more of what that person's doing.

Why are they so liked? I guess. What are they doing? What are some of the things that they're doing? I think I can do more of those things.

When you're part of an organization, I do see where sometimes people get frustrated with somebody with a high EQ because.

They tend to move forward in the organization. And somebody with that rightfully may have a higher degree or they are smarter and technically more astute.

But the person with the higher EQ that can manage his way through relationships, that can manage his way through conversations, that can allow people to contribute because.

He or she understands their emotions, those people, I have seen it in organizations.

Where definitely the person with a higher.

Iq and is probably smarter gets looked.

Over because they don't have a good EQ.

Interesting.

Yeah.

This goldman, they talk about some of the studies.

So in reality, what do you think.

Is more important, IQ or EQ?

And high IQ is no guarantee of success.

How successful you are in life is.

Determined by both that emotional intelligence and your iq. And though intellect works best when it's.

Accompanied by high emotional intelligence, in reality, IQ contributes to.

They've done some research.

It's about 20% of the factors that determine your life success.

We all know someone who has a.

High iq, yet they struggle to do well. So what's the other 80%? There's other things like social class and just plain old luck.

But they say life success is really.

Influenced more by an individual's ability to.

Engage the five aspects of EQ that.

We were talking about before.

I couldn't agree more.

I love that study that is qualifying what we believe. So I think as I dig into some more research here, maybe I'll bring.

It to the podcast.

But I did find a test we can try, which I already did.

But before I share that with you, I want to know, Joe, what was.

Your win for the week?

Good show, Kurt. First of all, I like this subject.

And I would like to take this test, and I would like to bring.

Our results back and discuss them together.

Absolutely.

And just see what happens. But my win for the week is I had breakfast with my daughter Sunday morning. We met for 930 and didn't leave the table until afternoon, and sat there.

And drank coffee and ate breakfast and talked.

And it's been a little bit since.

I've had breakfast with this particular daughter.

It was a blast. I love it. And it's amazing that her and I.

Can carry on such a conversation, such.

A long conversation, and engage with each other.

And we are so different when it.

Comes to the way we look at life at times, right? But we have such a good relationship.

That we can discuss openly these things.

And really have vigorous debates.

It was really cool breakfast with my.

Daughter this past Sunday. It was awesome.

That's a perfect example of me looking at someone else and some of the.

Things that they do and the way.

You interact with your family.

And I know this practice of breakfast is a great way to get some.

One on one time and have some conversation. I know you get into some deep conversation. I'm encouraged to do that with my kids too. Matter of fact, I called my son.

Before I sent Joe a text. My son Harry has started a podcast. It's called sick face. So if you're interested in the strange.

What a great name.

I know my wife has always encouraged.

Horror movies and that kind of the occult and different things, and not, that's.

Probably the wrong way to say it. They always enjoyed that kind of thing.

And so he's been working on this.

Podcast for a long time, and my younger son's working with him on it too. So it was an area that we can share. He did a great job for his first, and I'd actually love for you to listen to it.

And he was concerned about the audio.

And was like, dude, I think you're killing it.

But anyways, well, I'm sure he had.

A little bit of help.

Yeah, well, he called me to wonder.

How we could host this podcast. It was one of the things he was asking me about. But yeah, anyways, it's an area where.

We can connect on, right? We don't always see eye to eye on certain things too, but it's a.

Mutual interest now that we both can share.

Him and I have always had that in a lot of different areas, but that's cool.

Yeah.

My win for the week is the vacation trip to Disney World.

This was really something my wife was planning for quite some time, and her friend went on a Disney cruise, Judy and Ken. And then they met us up and it was just a real fun relaxing.

Especially for her to do whatever she wants to do. And she loves to go hard in.

The park, so I'm glad she got a chance to do all the things.

She wanted to do. I got to see a bunch of.

My friends from my community just showed up, like 30 of them. So that was fun to see again, people from my podcast community at Disney World, as usual.

So they knew in advance you were going to be down there.

And did they plan a trip to come down with you, even though this.

Was supposed to be just you and your wife.

It's not just me.

It's like, hey, here's an opportunity for.

Us friends to get together and one talks to another friend.

And it's not like, hey, Kurt's going, so let's all go. It's more like, hey, I'm going to go. Do you want to go?

But it just so happened that Kurt.

Was there at the same time.

I guess what a the this time.

I was the motivating, not. It's not always me.

They do this without me, too.

Anyways, it enhances my experience for sure. Having friends, Joe, is always have a.

Social life can be a good thing for you, right?

No doubt.

What's your resource for the week?

Yeah, my resource is interesting. I don't know how it connects to.

This show, but I was looking through some old books that I had, and.

I found this book called Strengths Finders by Tom Rath, and it's through the Gallup group, and it's one of those personality tests. And we talked about that in the beginning of the show.

And it just so happens that I.

Put this particular book as my resource.

It's a really good book.

And the book, in and of itself.

Is not the magic.

The magic is what you get when you buy the book, and that's the strength finders test. I don't know if I'm saying that right, strength finders or strengths finders. But anyway, strength finders test.

And it comes quote unquote free with the book.

And what the book is about is after you take the test or in taking the test, it helps you flesh out what those strengths are. But they have a website that you can go to and understand your strengths and so forth. And I took the strengths finders test and I have my top five, and.

I really appreciate the guidance that it gives me and understanding kind of what.

Drives me and the way I think.

And there's a couple of these types.

Of tests, but I really do like the strengths finders by the Gallup group.

That's perfect for what we were talking.

About here because I think this emotional.

Intelligence book 2.0 has the same thing.

To help you get that self awareness, and it is good to get that self awareness.

Did you ever do strengths finders?

I have, yeah.

I don't remember your top five off.

The top of my head, no.

What was some of yours?

My top five is, number one is belief.

Okay.

And I think belief is just a.

Core sense of principles.

I'm not going to go through each one. I'll just tell you what the top five are.

Belief is number one. Developer is number two. Relator is number three.

Futuristic is number four.

And number five is connectedness.

Okay. Yeah, there was one in there.

I know I could probably still log in there. Find it.

You can.

Awesome. So this article that I based, today's episode comes from website called positivepsychology.com, articles.

Called importance of emotional Intelligence. So you can look that up or check the link. Joe's been doing a great job with.

The website, so you'll see that link in our website if you want to check out that article.

And the test I found is a.

Free emotional intelligence test.

It's at ww truity.com slash testemotionalintelligence test.

But we'll have the link on the website.

You can check that out.

Put in the Facebook group, too, if.

You want to do your own test. And I'm going to give this to.

Joe so he can do his test. And we'll compare notes, hopefully next week.

I will certainly do that.

That's one way to do it. You can buy the book I was.

Mentioning, which was from Dr. Travis Bradbury's.

Brand new book, Emotional Intelligence Habits, which I'm getting motivated now as I'm talking.

About it, to go get that book. I just want to finish the one I'm doing right now first.

Only thing, hold me back.

I'm most curious about emotional intelligence 2.0 and the habits. Anything that has habits in it, of.

Course, I'm going to buy.

Right? I thought maybe.

No doubt.

Okay, how about a quote for the week?

Well, mine comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson, and this is related to our subject. To be yourself in a world that.

Is constantly trying to make you something.

Else is the greatest accomplishment.

Sounds like your strength finders.

Isn't that quote a little bit?

Yeah.

Be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Go be yourself.

Yeah.

But in the process of being yourself, be emotionally intelligent.

Right.

Still connect with other people, teach them how to be themselves and that it's okay.

Yeah, I love that.

How about yours?

I've learned that people will forget what you said.

People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. That's from civil rights activist Maya Angelou.

Yeah, my Angelou's amazing. She is amazing. She really is a national treasure. And I love this quote by her. I've heard this before.

Right? This is a well known quote.

This strikes deep with me.

The thing I want to say this.

When people leave me, I want them to know that they just had a good human interaction. Right. I want them to feel like, yeah, I just connected at some level with another human being.

Yeah.

I think this is even good. I think if you're giving a speech, any public conversation, they're not going to remember what you.

There's an interesting analogy that I have. And just track with me here, if you would.

Yeah.

I love the mission Impossible movies.

Okay.

Right.

Yeah.

They make me excited and a little anxious and I cheer the guy on and, yeah, you're.

Man, I'm there, man.

I'm really with the Tom Cruise character and I'm cheering them on and I'm.

Interested in the characters and watching them go through their process of getting out.

Of the situation that they're in. And I really feel great watching this movie.

Right.

Generally, I can't tell you what any one of them is about.

You don't know the plot at all.

In a way.

I remember characters and how the characters made me feel. He has to find something and somebody else is trying to find it before.

He finds it and they find it.

Whatever. I guess it's the same thing. But, man, I sure remember how it made me feel.

Hey, a good story can do that. That's what great storytellers can do in movies.

Music so in the third Mission Impossible, Philip Seymour Hoffman plays the bad guy in this movie. And I can't tell you what he was after. I can't tell you what he was trying to get.

I can't tell you who he was trying to punish.

I can't tell you any of that.

I just know that he was one mean Sob. One of the meanest sobs I've ever seen in movies.

Because he was just cold hearted and.

He creeped me out.

He scared me, man. And so I say all that to say. Think about this quote from Maya Angelou. People will forget what you said, what you did, but they'll never forget how you made them.

Joe, I was thinking of the diehard movie, the first.

The bad guy there. Yeah, man, what a great character that made his career.

I don't know the actor's name. I think he's passed now, too.

But he played in the Harry Potter movies, right?

Yeah. I can't remember his name either.

That bad guy character he did in die hard.

Yeah.

Was classic.

It sure was good stuff.

He creeped me out.

All right, well, our website is dudesinprogress.com.

Dudesinprogress.com.

Our email address is [email protected].

You can connect with us there. Send us email.

Let us know how you felt about the show and some suggestions that you'd.

Like to make for future shows. There's also there, there's ways to connect to our Facebook page, and if you want to support the show, there's a way to connect there. Dudesandprogress.com is our website. [email protected] is our email address. Remember, Kurt, as we go into this next week, progress is certainly better than perfection. We don't need to be emotionally perfect, right? No. But if we're better tomorrow than we were today, we're doing something right. So just let's keep moving forward.

I'm going to do my best, Joe. I'm not an emotional person, but I can work on it.

You need to give yourself more credit. Talk to you soon, my friend.

See you, pal.